Re-Learn what you have Learned
Note : The title of this blog is not based on anything related to Yoda quotes from the Star Wars movies. I wish that it was in many ways, but unfortunately no.
When asked approximately 20 or so years ago what our purposes in life were, the answer was "to learn". What exactly we were supposed to learn is different for all of us, but as we were in the middle of my junior or senior year of high school at the time, I would've said the typical subjects (math, history, science, art, etc.). Exactly what else I was not sure of, save for the awkward social skills one acquires during the high school experience (of which, of course, are variables). If you asked me what our purposes in life were approximately 10 years ago, I would have once again answered "to learn", but have put some footnotes on that. What we are to do is actually "unlearn or relearn what we have learned". Of this I have placed in the oh so important social interactions among humans. These must go like so:
1) Work - It is easy to think that the people that you work with are your friends, because you spend more time with the people you work with than anyone else. This is not the case, one must learn the hard way that the people you work with are, in fact, not your friends. Many people come to work in the hopes that this will be the new social club, especially those who are getting their first full time job. You come to work to work, not to socialize.
2) Talking - We all like to talk, and we like to talk about our favorite subject in some way, shape or form : ourselves. When one talks about themselves they often times lapse in judgement, and let some things slip. Once you have done this, you will know because all of a sudden someone will come out of left field, take some information about you (even something trivial like "my favorite color is blue") and rip you to shreds over it. Because of this, be careful when talking about things with others. Keep topics neutral and conversational, and remain the mystery by inviting others to talk about themselves rather than offer information about you. That way they will leave the conversation satisfied, because they have satisfied their own need to stroke their own egos. And they will never know you have played them.
3) Assumptions - Never assume anything about anyone. That is, if the person seems nice or rather harmless on the outside, they could be concealing a hideous monster within. Vice versa could be true as well. With that in mind, one must always have a positive outlook but be cautious and wary of outsiders for the above reasons.
4) Social interaction - Every once in a while, I wonder why I didn't have friends in high school. When I ran into a gal I went to high school with not too long ago, she asked if I had ever been to this bar in Lakewood. I said "Yeah, a couple of times", she responded "I thought I saw you there once but you were with some people and I didn't feel like coming up and saying hello to you." Someone once said to me I have a mild case of social autism. I'd say that she has a more moderate to severe one. This was the same gal who said she was angry about having to go to whatever university she went to because it seemed like everyone from a certain upper class suburb was going there. I thought that was odd, since this university would have thousands upon thousands of people as their student population, I'm sure those in question blended in and she had a good if not completely obnoxious college experience just like her personality. So much for social autism. If you have a bit of intelligence you can't say a word, if you feel you have the right to do and say anything you like without consequences, you usually do.
5) Silence is golden - There are times that we try with others. We try a bit too hard to be friendly and it only backfires on us. Say good morning to a coworker everyday when they never respond to you and it's kind of your fault for trying. Ask someone how their weekend was, and they said "I didn't do anything", then you have to just mind your own fucking business. Just greet others with "Hello" when you make eye contact, then keep your eyes down and about your business.
It's a shame we live in this world, but there's not much you can do about it. Relearn your course of social interaction and you'll be fine, protected in a shell. Sometimes we need reminders.
When asked approximately 20 or so years ago what our purposes in life were, the answer was "to learn". What exactly we were supposed to learn is different for all of us, but as we were in the middle of my junior or senior year of high school at the time, I would've said the typical subjects (math, history, science, art, etc.). Exactly what else I was not sure of, save for the awkward social skills one acquires during the high school experience (of which, of course, are variables). If you asked me what our purposes in life were approximately 10 years ago, I would have once again answered "to learn", but have put some footnotes on that. What we are to do is actually "unlearn or relearn what we have learned". Of this I have placed in the oh so important social interactions among humans. These must go like so:
1) Work - It is easy to think that the people that you work with are your friends, because you spend more time with the people you work with than anyone else. This is not the case, one must learn the hard way that the people you work with are, in fact, not your friends. Many people come to work in the hopes that this will be the new social club, especially those who are getting their first full time job. You come to work to work, not to socialize.
2) Talking - We all like to talk, and we like to talk about our favorite subject in some way, shape or form : ourselves. When one talks about themselves they often times lapse in judgement, and let some things slip. Once you have done this, you will know because all of a sudden someone will come out of left field, take some information about you (even something trivial like "my favorite color is blue") and rip you to shreds over it. Because of this, be careful when talking about things with others. Keep topics neutral and conversational, and remain the mystery by inviting others to talk about themselves rather than offer information about you. That way they will leave the conversation satisfied, because they have satisfied their own need to stroke their own egos. And they will never know you have played them.
3) Assumptions - Never assume anything about anyone. That is, if the person seems nice or rather harmless on the outside, they could be concealing a hideous monster within. Vice versa could be true as well. With that in mind, one must always have a positive outlook but be cautious and wary of outsiders for the above reasons.
4) Social interaction - Every once in a while, I wonder why I didn't have friends in high school. When I ran into a gal I went to high school with not too long ago, she asked if I had ever been to this bar in Lakewood. I said "Yeah, a couple of times", she responded "I thought I saw you there once but you were with some people and I didn't feel like coming up and saying hello to you." Someone once said to me I have a mild case of social autism. I'd say that she has a more moderate to severe one. This was the same gal who said she was angry about having to go to whatever university she went to because it seemed like everyone from a certain upper class suburb was going there. I thought that was odd, since this university would have thousands upon thousands of people as their student population, I'm sure those in question blended in and she had a good if not completely obnoxious college experience just like her personality. So much for social autism. If you have a bit of intelligence you can't say a word, if you feel you have the right to do and say anything you like without consequences, you usually do.
5) Silence is golden - There are times that we try with others. We try a bit too hard to be friendly and it only backfires on us. Say good morning to a coworker everyday when they never respond to you and it's kind of your fault for trying. Ask someone how their weekend was, and they said "I didn't do anything", then you have to just mind your own fucking business. Just greet others with "Hello" when you make eye contact, then keep your eyes down and about your business.
It's a shame we live in this world, but there's not much you can do about it. Relearn your course of social interaction and you'll be fine, protected in a shell. Sometimes we need reminders.
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