Moving on part 2
Sometimes I think I feel things more deeply than others do. That is a bit of contradictory statement, as some have told me they can find me cold, unfeeling and rather stiff. But yet, once one gets to know me they find that I am not like that. Sometimes you hurt inside but since no one likes being around someone who is angry, depressed, or takes a certain joy out of lashing out or hurting others. I feel, I move in closer, touching and tasting things. And we get burned while doing so. Such is the state of things.
1) Thinking things through - Not obsessively but as throughly as possible and within reason. It was for the best that things ended when they did rather than later on, you probably would have down the road if not at that moment. There may not have been a good reason, but it was a reason nonetheless. One discordant person is enough.
2) No not rethink things through - It is easy to romanticize things when you think about only the good things, especially when it was/is not your decission to end it. You tend to convince yourself that there were no bad parts to begin with, which there were. Or if maybe the other party just knew how you felt then they would rethink things and change, because neither one of you is going to change.
3) Spacial Issues and Geography - "I want us to be friends". If that is not the most tired, overused expression in history, I don't know what is. Is it possible? To a degree it is, but remember that the only reason the two of you are still in contact is because one wants the other to come back, and the other party is not, repeat, NOT coming back. Ask yourself in those moments of loneliness what the point of seeing or talking to them again would really be? You are just reliving the past and it will make the hurt harder once again. Best to keep your distance, at least for a long while, until you feel you are truly over it. If you must have contact, keep it in terms of business (returning things, for example).
4) Coping appropriately - It's ok to feel that maybe you made a mistake or two, no one is perfect. But you must accept that not only are you not perfect, but neither is the other person. But do not blame yourself completely, because that is in no way a reflection of your total character.
5) Hate phase - Your rage feels boundless, you want to scream and shout and destroy things around you because you just feel like rage at some point. You blame the other person for wasting your time, you feel anger towards yourself as well. It is a waste of time and energy to do so.
6) Remember your true friends - Surround yourself with others who you love and care about. You will see yourself once again as a worthwhile person when they affirm that you are not a beast but rather a good person. Often times the other said "I hate your friend so-and-so", but you like your friend so-and-so because you share common values and passtimes when that other person did not.
7) Creativity - Write or paint or draw, do something creative with your time and energy that you otherwise did not. You will gain insights that you did not have before. Maybe you will recognize a pattern or two.
8) Reminder notes - This was not the one for you. You know that, but you have to remind yourself of it (back to romanticism). Why do you want to go back and torture yourself again?
9) Out with the old, in with the new - Rearrange the stuff in the house or wash all the dishes by hand just because. Creating a new enviornment in which to live is a good sign of reorganizing your physical and mental health.
10) Memory triggers - Remove all items that remind you of that person. You don't have to throw them out, but put them away for a long time.
11) Find happiness in other areas - Reaffirmation of friends and family, take up a new hobby or passtime, do that one thing you always wanted to but somehow put off.
12) Stay active - Sitting around sobbing does not do anyone any good for anyone's mental health. Get out and do something physical because it cleans out the bad in your body both physically and mentally.
13) Let go of negative - There is no benefit to holding onto negatives or the past, because that's the past and we are living in the now. You were brave enough to venture into something, but that should not dictate your future. You can't be afraid again to take risks or to try once again.
14) Negative reminders - The other person was not perfect, remind yourself of this. They will seem less attractive to you over time. And then you will start thinking that the other party was the loser for not wanting a tasty morsel like you. You have a lot to offer, they were the fool, not you.
Needed to remind myself of these basic points once again, because, I was lonesome tonight.
1) Thinking things through - Not obsessively but as throughly as possible and within reason. It was for the best that things ended when they did rather than later on, you probably would have down the road if not at that moment. There may not have been a good reason, but it was a reason nonetheless. One discordant person is enough.
2) No not rethink things through - It is easy to romanticize things when you think about only the good things, especially when it was/is not your decission to end it. You tend to convince yourself that there were no bad parts to begin with, which there were. Or if maybe the other party just knew how you felt then they would rethink things and change, because neither one of you is going to change.
3) Spacial Issues and Geography - "I want us to be friends". If that is not the most tired, overused expression in history, I don't know what is. Is it possible? To a degree it is, but remember that the only reason the two of you are still in contact is because one wants the other to come back, and the other party is not, repeat, NOT coming back. Ask yourself in those moments of loneliness what the point of seeing or talking to them again would really be? You are just reliving the past and it will make the hurt harder once again. Best to keep your distance, at least for a long while, until you feel you are truly over it. If you must have contact, keep it in terms of business (returning things, for example).
4) Coping appropriately - It's ok to feel that maybe you made a mistake or two, no one is perfect. But you must accept that not only are you not perfect, but neither is the other person. But do not blame yourself completely, because that is in no way a reflection of your total character.
5) Hate phase - Your rage feels boundless, you want to scream and shout and destroy things around you because you just feel like rage at some point. You blame the other person for wasting your time, you feel anger towards yourself as well. It is a waste of time and energy to do so.
6) Remember your true friends - Surround yourself with others who you love and care about. You will see yourself once again as a worthwhile person when they affirm that you are not a beast but rather a good person. Often times the other said "I hate your friend so-and-so", but you like your friend so-and-so because you share common values and passtimes when that other person did not.
7) Creativity - Write or paint or draw, do something creative with your time and energy that you otherwise did not. You will gain insights that you did not have before. Maybe you will recognize a pattern or two.
8) Reminder notes - This was not the one for you. You know that, but you have to remind yourself of it (back to romanticism). Why do you want to go back and torture yourself again?
9) Out with the old, in with the new - Rearrange the stuff in the house or wash all the dishes by hand just because. Creating a new enviornment in which to live is a good sign of reorganizing your physical and mental health.
10) Memory triggers - Remove all items that remind you of that person. You don't have to throw them out, but put them away for a long time.
11) Find happiness in other areas - Reaffirmation of friends and family, take up a new hobby or passtime, do that one thing you always wanted to but somehow put off.
12) Stay active - Sitting around sobbing does not do anyone any good for anyone's mental health. Get out and do something physical because it cleans out the bad in your body both physically and mentally.
13) Let go of negative - There is no benefit to holding onto negatives or the past, because that's the past and we are living in the now. You were brave enough to venture into something, but that should not dictate your future. You can't be afraid again to take risks or to try once again.
14) Negative reminders - The other person was not perfect, remind yourself of this. They will seem less attractive to you over time. And then you will start thinking that the other party was the loser for not wanting a tasty morsel like you. You have a lot to offer, they were the fool, not you.
Needed to remind myself of these basic points once again, because, I was lonesome tonight.
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