The Metal Guy

 Found out earlier this week that a guy I went to junior high school with has died by name of Jon. He was quite a character, one that I think few truly knew and/or appreciated.

Going back quite a few years now, to the late 1980s. It was a different world then... We were still in The Cold War, fearing our Russian neighbors and in the midst of the Iran-Contra Affair. Marcos and his wife Imelda (owner of thousands of pairs of shoes) would be ousted from the Philippians. Regan was in his second term, Gorbachev was in Russia (later to be named one of the Three Corpses). The space shuttle Challenger would explode in midair seconds after liftoff. Top Gun would be the highest grossing box office movie behind Crocodile Dundee, the golden age of sit coms / NBC would boast the showmanship of The Cosby Show, The Golden Girls and Cheers and Night Court, as would ABC with their classic Miami Vice (I tried watching that show even at that tender age and didn't get it, but the fashions were ok I guess). Whitney Houston, Prince and Madonna were at the top of their game, as was Metallica's Master of Puppets. How did I know this? Because of The Metal Guy I went to junior high school with, a guy named Jon.

I didn't know him, as did a lot of the other kids I went to with in my class, because he was the one who didn't belong. Apparently he had some health concerns which caused him to be held back, chicken pox and the onset of Type 1 diabetes to be precise. He didn't say much to others, except when he was listening to music. I remember most times he just sat listening to his music on his headphones at lunchtime. When others were discussing other things that middle schoolers talk about, he sat alone most days, staring off into space, the music cranked up at top volume. Once someone said he thought the music was coming out of his nose. I thought that was rude, I think I wanted to know him on a deeper level, as I had a lot of deep conversations with others in middle school. What is our purpose in life? What did you think of this event? Do others think that I or others were weird? I'm sure they did, they thought I was weird. Part of me wanted to know him, what was going on inside his mind when he barely said a word. I knew it was hard for him to be held back, I wondered why and wanted to know more about him. I had a conversation with another gal I went to junior high school with later on and she said she had no idea that he had these struggles either with his health or otherwise because she was so self centered during that time. She had no idea of a lot of things that others were struggling with. Instead she was just concerned about herself, as were all the others. 

I was self centered during that time, show me one kid who isn't. It's a difficult time to be alive, in that all were going through puberty and going from being a little to a big kid. I struggled with my own identities and figuring out who I was. Others were clearly not thinking about the bigger pictures and the future because they were too consumed with their changing bodies and being accepted by peers. I too wanted this but got little of it - Mine was consumed around wanting to be with Group A but being shunned by them, Group B was so immature that I was just with them by default and was treated as the default member. I tried with the boys, but they didn't want me around save for a few I was able to connect on a deeper level with. But I wanted to reach out to him and all of the outcasts who felt that they were not part of the mainstream, as I felt I wasn't either. I felt so alone, but wanted others, like Jon, to know that I felt for them as much. 

I remember seeing his locker door open once. Inside he had a photo of this horrible face who I later identified as Regan from The Exorcist, it was white and purple and green. A terrible makeup job compared to the slickness of today's, but it haunted me. What was this trying to say to the world? To others? He wore jean jackets with the sleeves ripped off, had greasy hair and acne. He always had the same look on his face, just frozen. I had no idea who he did or didn't talk to, save for one guy named James here and there. I don't remember his likes or dislikes, his moods or anything, he was just window dressing to others. Perhaps I was to others as well, or I felt like it.

We graduated from middle school and went onto high school. I remember the class before mine was the one Jon should have graduated with, they all gave their speeches like they were receiving Academy Awards because they were so full of themselves. There was this one gal who gave a huge disaster of a speech before others, it's still mocked because it was quite a hysterical display of social awkwardness. Mine was at least somewhat classier, but Jon still didn't belong. He went onto high school, like we all did. Other than that, I have no real other factual information about him. I know he was married once and that ended at some point. I also knew he had diabetes, someday it would do him in. He was part of the scene in our city of rock music and playing in rock bands. Our paths never crossed, but he was an active participant in Smedley's Bar and often times showcased his talents there. According to a post made by his brother, he had been in hospice care for the last few weeks as he was in kidney failure and was looking at an amputation. As he didn't want to live like this, he chose not to go through dialysis and chose to run out the clock. He died a few days ago just over age 50.

I wish I could say that I knew something that others didn't, but I can't say that. I was just the weird fat girl who wanted to be his friend back then, now I am a woman with a glamourous life. He showed me that there was a world of rock music way back when that wasn't on the charts and that there was something underground. I may not have known all the facts, but I knew of it partially because of him. Even back then he was known as is still remembered as The Metal Guy.

RIP Jon. I hope you're rocking out with everyone in the after life.