Seeing the real world
Someone posted some old photos on Facebook a few days ago. Sure, that's what they all use it for, as a means of embarrassing others here or there with old memories which usually involve questionable or ill fated fashion or cosmetic choice (haircut, make up, etc.). We all have a laugh about it and say "Well, that was the trend at the time" or "I didn't know any different", etc. I saw one of these photos in question of, once again, a gal I went to high school with who used to astound me. I won't name a name, of course, because, as I have said in many situations I AIN'T CRAZY (at least, not that crazy. Anymore that is.) Anyone who may be reading this potentially I may have attended said institution in question and pass it onto the individual, but hey, don't we all have things we're embarrassed or ashamed about? The particular in question used to sport a black leather jacket, wore vampire clothes and make up like the others in her goth rocker clique, and had an adolescent attitude which was starved for attention. We all go through this in different phases and forms, we all get a little crazy, we all go a little mad from time to time. During this period, I had learned to live in the shadows and not share much about myself with others. It would be before I came out of my shell, had a bloom, then got stung once again by life and went back into the shadows for good (but that's another story). I can understand that one loves the spotlight and the dramatics that tend to go with it, but I think I knew how full of shit she really was back then. He/she who didn't throw a tantrum or have an attitude problem back then can cast the first stone, but it was pretty outlandish to tell others that this is not the real world we are living in. I thought about that statement quite a bit, the real world. Not that reality show that ended the golden age of MTV, just to be clear, but what that is. The real world.
Hard to believe that it's been twenty years since I last heard that statement, and all the living that I have packed into said twenty years. I was about to start down a path in life, one that I would experience the highest highs and lowest lows on. Some things would be my choice, some would be the choice of others. One thing, however, that still lingers on is that phrase "the real world" that she wanted to experience and felt she was being held back from. As a kid, I had a penchant for wanting to experience many things in life, wanting to see and hear and travel and break free from the confines of what I felt I had been controlled and pushed into against my will. I wonder where this gal stands on her not experiencing the real world before or since then.
In this quest to go through the bad and dark sides before I realized that life is hard enough on it's own without seeking out such things, I have encountered many a thing. Having met people who have survived famine, diseases and wars, meeting people who have survived horrific abuses and thinking how someone could be so cruel. Things I don't even want to repeat and haunt my nightmares and while I am seemingly fine in everyday situations. Living in a world of obesity and having once been 40 lbs heavier than I am now, you meet someone who is or was starving and realizing I had and now have too much to eat. Remembering that gal who hated being at our snooty white people's school, and having to meet adults who can't read or write on a 6th grade level puts it all in perspective. Watching the self centered attitudes of individuals who feel entitled to getting all they want or need, then having someone break down and cry on you saying no one's ever been so nice to them when you're a complete stranger. Have someone dress up in vampire clothes over their uniform of plaid skirt and white blouse while seeing those who wear rags because they have nothing else but these rags to wear. Watching others live in some kind of fantasy world, being depressed over not having someone to love in their life while you look at the face of evil before you. The twelve year old son who beats up his mom because he can't get what he wants, the father who shook his babies, the mother who left her kids because it was more important to get a fix. The list goes on and on.
The real world is a scary place, one that I wish I did not see on the level that I have but am now a part of. I also watched many who wanted to make a difference leave that real world, opting for more traditional standings after all to have someone else take care of it rather than they. Some have no choice such as I to go forth alone into the dark forest because you were left behind and someone has to do it. Everyone deserves hope, dignity and a purpose in life, and we are all among them.
Hard to believe that it's been twenty years since I last heard that statement, and all the living that I have packed into said twenty years. I was about to start down a path in life, one that I would experience the highest highs and lowest lows on. Some things would be my choice, some would be the choice of others. One thing, however, that still lingers on is that phrase "the real world" that she wanted to experience and felt she was being held back from. As a kid, I had a penchant for wanting to experience many things in life, wanting to see and hear and travel and break free from the confines of what I felt I had been controlled and pushed into against my will. I wonder where this gal stands on her not experiencing the real world before or since then.
In this quest to go through the bad and dark sides before I realized that life is hard enough on it's own without seeking out such things, I have encountered many a thing. Having met people who have survived famine, diseases and wars, meeting people who have survived horrific abuses and thinking how someone could be so cruel. Things I don't even want to repeat and haunt my nightmares and while I am seemingly fine in everyday situations. Living in a world of obesity and having once been 40 lbs heavier than I am now, you meet someone who is or was starving and realizing I had and now have too much to eat. Remembering that gal who hated being at our snooty white people's school, and having to meet adults who can't read or write on a 6th grade level puts it all in perspective. Watching the self centered attitudes of individuals who feel entitled to getting all they want or need, then having someone break down and cry on you saying no one's ever been so nice to them when you're a complete stranger. Have someone dress up in vampire clothes over their uniform of plaid skirt and white blouse while seeing those who wear rags because they have nothing else but these rags to wear. Watching others live in some kind of fantasy world, being depressed over not having someone to love in their life while you look at the face of evil before you. The twelve year old son who beats up his mom because he can't get what he wants, the father who shook his babies, the mother who left her kids because it was more important to get a fix. The list goes on and on.
The real world is a scary place, one that I wish I did not see on the level that I have but am now a part of. I also watched many who wanted to make a difference leave that real world, opting for more traditional standings after all to have someone else take care of it rather than they. Some have no choice such as I to go forth alone into the dark forest because you were left behind and someone has to do it. Everyone deserves hope, dignity and a purpose in life, and we are all among them.
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