Reached the end
At long last the Practicum experience came to an end as of last Thursday. There have been many bumps in the road, much craziness, much drama, but what can one expect out of being with a bunch of 6th and 7th graders? To say that I learned a lot is an understatement. For one, I was placed in a city school on Fleet Avenue, on the edge of Slavic Village, in the hood, in a charter school. This place is unique because of their approach to learning and discipline. What they say GOES. Iron fist. I am the KING OF THE CASTLE as the adult in charge. In the Elyria school, kids were obnoxious and trashy, the inmates had taken control of the asylum. Here, the kids were disciplined and cooperative, who could ask for anything more? One kid noticed my ID badge around my neck and asked of my first name. I confirmed that it was, in fact, my first name. He quickly said back "Oh, I would never call you by your first name! Respect." I said it was alright, he was just asking what my first name was and I was just confirming it, he was not actually calling me by my first name. One would not expect that out of any other middle school student by a long shot.
The work was difficult, I was nailed on it several times for not having the right time management or being a bit off with discipline management. Of the demerits I gave out, there were only a handful for not being prepared or off task. All detentions were handed out by my supervising bodies and were given automatically for such infractions like talking out of turn or during transition as they changed classes. 6th and 7th (and to a degree 8th) are the hardest grades to teach thanks to attitude problems and the fact that most kids all out blow things off. This is probably due to hormones and growth spurts. What was really fascinating is the fact that the more things change, just as many stay the same. Go back in time 100 years, you will find just the same problems with the same kids in the same grades and it is just as true of you were to travel 1000 years into the future. The girls are/were just as fascinated with vampires and zombies as they were in my day. In my day it was the Interview with the Vampire books, now it's Twilight. The boys are just as obsessed with sports and video games as they were back then, but that's not so surprising as boys will stay obsessed with those things well into adulthood. Only the technology and means change.
We are also living in an age of paranoia, which applies to the general public as well as with your coworkers in educational settings. Means are taken so that students will not be able to follow teachers on Twitter or friend them on Facebook. No one is safe from the eye of the Internet as it seems (hence my monikers). You are to refrain from talking socially to students even if they want to engage you in a conversation or two, and you have to be very careful about what you do or say, not to mention how you dress (free of gang colors, clothing logos, etc.). You cannot take a peanut butter and jelly sandwich into a public place (or even talk about such a sandwich) for fear of little kids reacting so horribly to a peanut allergy, or get written up for talking about if you like Skippy or Jiff better. This is the world we live in today. If you don't like it, then quite honestly there are no alternatives to it. One must be tightly contained, show no emotions, no fear, no nothing. If you do react badly or in any way questionable then you are ousted. No questions asked. Remain aloof and you are accused of being too stand offish. Try to have social conversations with your coworkers, they tell you you are being too social with them. The staff will come down on you like the hammer of Thor if you park in their parking space, do not empty the trashcans, or jam up the Xerox machines. In short, they act like they are also in the 6th grade as well.
How to cope with that aspect? It's a fact that you will absorb the traits of those around you. When you are in a work setting it will be that of whatever age students you have before you or bitchy customers on a phone. As episodes of such greats like The Office or The Larry Sanders Show have taught us, you are surrounded by dysfunction and forced into a common dwelling place with others who are frustrated with themselves and take it out on others. It's a fact, we simply have to get over it and find other, better things to occupy our time with.
That aside, and the fact that I did not reach proficient with it, this has been an enriching experience unlike anything before. I try to go into everything with the hope that I can and will learn something for the better, even if it's terrible and mind scarring. And I also have to go in with the hope that I will not resort to self medication to get through it. Ha ha ha ... The future will hold good things for those who survive just such an experience, and I hope that I will be one of those people.
The moment came when I had to say good-bye to the 6th and 7th grades. My mentor would not let me say good-bye to the 7th grade since I was not teaching them but the 6th, but I stood up before the 6th and said this was my last day. They all looked at me with this sad eyed puppy look that I have seen in the eyes of city kids. Show them the least bit of interest or acknowledgement and they become needy and yet hopeful. They asked where I was going, I said I had to go back to CSU and do other things. Four of them got up and hugged me in a big bear hug and said "But we don't want you to go!" I said they would get on fine without me there, one said "But we don't want to be without you here." It was heartfelt, I smiled and said that I would miss them and I would always be thinking of them no matter what happens. In the 7th grade, I decided I wanted to say good-bye to one girl in particular. She had been a problem for many reasons, most recently getting suspended for starting a fight with another 7th grade girl. But she and I had kind of a connection that I did not have with any other 7th grader. I pulled her aside and told her that I wouldn't be coming back, that today was my last day there. She said "But you'll come back, won't you?" I said I couldn't, I have other things to do. But I will miss her. Her name was Diamond. Every morning I would ask "Is my diamond going to shine today?" And she said yes. Diamond hugged me, I said "My diamond will shine when I'm gone, right?" She said yes.
Now, onto summer and looking for employment of some kind. But I miss them already.
The work was difficult, I was nailed on it several times for not having the right time management or being a bit off with discipline management. Of the demerits I gave out, there were only a handful for not being prepared or off task. All detentions were handed out by my supervising bodies and were given automatically for such infractions like talking out of turn or during transition as they changed classes. 6th and 7th (and to a degree 8th) are the hardest grades to teach thanks to attitude problems and the fact that most kids all out blow things off. This is probably due to hormones and growth spurts. What was really fascinating is the fact that the more things change, just as many stay the same. Go back in time 100 years, you will find just the same problems with the same kids in the same grades and it is just as true of you were to travel 1000 years into the future. The girls are/were just as fascinated with vampires and zombies as they were in my day. In my day it was the Interview with the Vampire books, now it's Twilight. The boys are just as obsessed with sports and video games as they were back then, but that's not so surprising as boys will stay obsessed with those things well into adulthood. Only the technology and means change.
We are also living in an age of paranoia, which applies to the general public as well as with your coworkers in educational settings. Means are taken so that students will not be able to follow teachers on Twitter or friend them on Facebook. No one is safe from the eye of the Internet as it seems (hence my monikers). You are to refrain from talking socially to students even if they want to engage you in a conversation or two, and you have to be very careful about what you do or say, not to mention how you dress (free of gang colors, clothing logos, etc.). You cannot take a peanut butter and jelly sandwich into a public place (or even talk about such a sandwich) for fear of little kids reacting so horribly to a peanut allergy, or get written up for talking about if you like Skippy or Jiff better. This is the world we live in today. If you don't like it, then quite honestly there are no alternatives to it. One must be tightly contained, show no emotions, no fear, no nothing. If you do react badly or in any way questionable then you are ousted. No questions asked. Remain aloof and you are accused of being too stand offish. Try to have social conversations with your coworkers, they tell you you are being too social with them. The staff will come down on you like the hammer of Thor if you park in their parking space, do not empty the trashcans, or jam up the Xerox machines. In short, they act like they are also in the 6th grade as well.
How to cope with that aspect? It's a fact that you will absorb the traits of those around you. When you are in a work setting it will be that of whatever age students you have before you or bitchy customers on a phone. As episodes of such greats like The Office or The Larry Sanders Show have taught us, you are surrounded by dysfunction and forced into a common dwelling place with others who are frustrated with themselves and take it out on others. It's a fact, we simply have to get over it and find other, better things to occupy our time with.
That aside, and the fact that I did not reach proficient with it, this has been an enriching experience unlike anything before. I try to go into everything with the hope that I can and will learn something for the better, even if it's terrible and mind scarring. And I also have to go in with the hope that I will not resort to self medication to get through it. Ha ha ha ... The future will hold good things for those who survive just such an experience, and I hope that I will be one of those people.
The moment came when I had to say good-bye to the 6th and 7th grades. My mentor would not let me say good-bye to the 7th grade since I was not teaching them but the 6th, but I stood up before the 6th and said this was my last day. They all looked at me with this sad eyed puppy look that I have seen in the eyes of city kids. Show them the least bit of interest or acknowledgement and they become needy and yet hopeful. They asked where I was going, I said I had to go back to CSU and do other things. Four of them got up and hugged me in a big bear hug and said "But we don't want you to go!" I said they would get on fine without me there, one said "But we don't want to be without you here." It was heartfelt, I smiled and said that I would miss them and I would always be thinking of them no matter what happens. In the 7th grade, I decided I wanted to say good-bye to one girl in particular. She had been a problem for many reasons, most recently getting suspended for starting a fight with another 7th grade girl. But she and I had kind of a connection that I did not have with any other 7th grader. I pulled her aside and told her that I wouldn't be coming back, that today was my last day there. She said "But you'll come back, won't you?" I said I couldn't, I have other things to do. But I will miss her. Her name was Diamond. Every morning I would ask "Is my diamond going to shine today?" And she said yes. Diamond hugged me, I said "My diamond will shine when I'm gone, right?" She said yes.
Now, onto summer and looking for employment of some kind. But I miss them already.
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