Valentine's Day
Everyone has something to say about this day. Whether it's something to praise or defy about this day which is supposed to celebrate love. The most common reaction is for those to not like it much. It's understandable of course, because we have been conditioned by mass media and capitalism to think that love is something that it's not. Really, have you seen those commercials for diamonds, candy and flowers at your local retailer or commercials on TV or the Internet? Many say it makes them sick. And I would have to agree with it. Perhaps we should take a few minutes out to ask ourselves why it makes us so sick, because everything, has a perfectly reasonable explanation as to how and why it is the way it is. This is no exception.
1) Depressed because you have someone
In many ways, this is worse than not having someone. What if you did have someone and you hated them or they hated you? Is there really anything worse than having to put up with their whining, temper tantrums and unreasonable demands? Or have them simply ignore you when you try to tell them that you're not happy and you want to change it for the better? Defy them, it's not good enough for them. Do what they want, it's still not good enough. Tolerate certain behaviors, they call you weak. Don't tolerate certain behaviors, they call you intolerant and hysterical. What can I say except that there are far too many contradictions, people don't follow through, we like to play the blame game, and, as usual, some think that they are entitled to do and say whatever they want without consequences. And they also come back with some backhanded apology for their bad behaviors. "If you hadn't done/said (blank), I wouldn't have reacted so badly, so don't you see it's really your fault?" Bullshit. Straiten up, accept your faults, and move on. Those who survive the pitfalls and long term ups and downs of life say that they have good communication skills and solve problems. Learn how to do both.
2) Depressed because you're alone
Many fear being alone. They purposely will miss out on things because they don't have anyone to do things with. I never understood this myself. Some believe that a well established friend group can give someone proper social direction. Perhaps you don't want to do what the rest of the group is doing, or they don't want to do the same things you're interested in. Without a leader they do not strike out on their own and do whatever they want to. You can only excuse that so many times before you realize you are missing out on things just because you don't have a wing man/woman for it. Independence is a gift and the rest of what is holding you back is just nonsense. I have been commended for my bravery and fearlessness. Would I have ever met Morten and traveled the world for a-ha if I decided I was just going to stay home? Would I have ever been to the Great Pyramids of Egypt? What if I had let fear hold me back just because someone decided to be a loser and not join in? Someone's got to be the hero, someone has to live their dreams when others call you crazy or weird.
And then there are those who don't think when it comes to being alone. This happened to a few I've encountered, namely that hillbilly past (whose name I won't mention because I AIN'T CRAZY). Barely a year after breaking it off with me, he met and married another woman. He said he did not want kids and he married a woman with two children from two previous marriages. I can only imagine the nightmare he created with a woman he barely knew. His formerly easy going demeanor became mean and surly, I witnessed his rage only a few times (of which I am extremely grateful that it was only a few). I pity that woman to a degree, but according to a source she also took advantage of his not wanting to be alone. After three years, much of which was spent apart when she decided to move to another state, she divorced him, married husband #4, and has since divorced husband #4. Sad. Very sad. He was so eager to have someone in his life that he was willing to marry this woman, support her and her kids and he got taken for a ride. He feared being alone, and now he's REALLY alone.
3) Love unequal to capital
Many guys I know lament this holiday because that means they have to spend on their sweetheart or whoever it is around them. They see those commercials for diamonds and want to hurl all over the TV. They say it's an entirely feminine construction and they are pussy whipped into going along with it. Deep down, many say, they would never go along with some of it if there wasn't the possibility of sex attached to it. Counterpoint this by resolving a few things which we are overlooking. We have been conditioned by mass media to believe that we are to show others that we care by showering the other with said tokens. If and when we don't get them, we are disappointed. Yet, love is so much more than what the florists and Zale's are telling us it is. As much as we would like to think we are original and free thinkers, when it comes to love we are puppets of mass media. True romance does not cost much at all. It's about enjoying one another's company, thoughtfulness and being good to one another. It could be telling someone that you recognize their working hard for you or something else. It could be telling that other person "you make me happy", doing their taxes, or even washing their car. And maybe, it's just telling that other person "I love you". Really, those things don't cost a thing.
4) The Long Term
Perhaps what makes us all the more angry about The Game is that they cannot seem to keep that person with them. How many times have you heard that tired out old line "I love you, I'm just not IN love with you." If love endures and lasts for all the right reasons, that's a wonderful thing. It's not just between you and your partner, but you and your friends, your pets, all of those around you near and far who you come into contact with. When you encounter those who are always causing turmoil or insanity, don't speak to family or friends, there is no love in their lives. If and when they lash out at you, that means they are unhappy with themselves. Some don't see it as equality, they see their significant other as someone who is taking care of them financially, cleaning up after them, and supporting them in their mindless debauchery. That's not love, that's dependency. All the romantic gestures in the world won't mean much if you are untrustworthy or not pulling your weight. If both parties are as such, they will then move it from functionality to the sublime.
5) Left Behind
I watched this movie by former child star / born again Christian Kirk Cameron called Left Behind, about people who were left on Earth after The Rapture took place. About 99.99% of all the people on Earth were taken up to heaven (or simply just burned to ashes) when he and a handful of others were, for some reason, left behind to languish in the filth that the world had become. Aside from the Christian theme of the movie, just about everyone can relate to this. Who hasn't been hurt? Who hasn't been mistreated? Who hasn't had a glimmer of hope that it can somehow, someday happen to you too and been shot down? And the cruelest of the cruel say "I'm going to get another girlfriend". To you, with a bright smile and cheer in their voice? It happens. Because there is no such thing as someone who says that they are not interested in being with another. And you're left behind, you feel like the only one. Somewhere in the world there are those who will work out their problems rationally rather than resorting to sarcasm, threats, giving in, taking blame needlessly, avoidance, or pretending there is nothing wrong rather than being on the edge of all hell breaking loose. And I envy those people.
You've been left behind to wallow in your own filth. Now what do you do? You pick up the pieces and move on. You're wiser, you're depressed, and you might even be more bitter than you were before. And that's fine, you learned. On my part, I have been privileged to have met and talked to countless people in my lifetime, more than most. I've met people who have survived war, famine, diseases, and been subjected to horrific abuses that will leave you cringing inside. How could someone be so cruel to another? And when some douchebag throws you over for another piece of trash, be happy. It could've been you living that nightmare.
So you're alone on this day, you have no choice in the matter. Be happy with you, because you have no one else but you. And don't spit on the store displays, cry about what so and so did, or whine about how bad it is being you. Existence is suffering, and you will suffer under the cowardice and abuse of others. The gods wait to delight in you.
1) Depressed because you have someone
In many ways, this is worse than not having someone. What if you did have someone and you hated them or they hated you? Is there really anything worse than having to put up with their whining, temper tantrums and unreasonable demands? Or have them simply ignore you when you try to tell them that you're not happy and you want to change it for the better? Defy them, it's not good enough for them. Do what they want, it's still not good enough. Tolerate certain behaviors, they call you weak. Don't tolerate certain behaviors, they call you intolerant and hysterical. What can I say except that there are far too many contradictions, people don't follow through, we like to play the blame game, and, as usual, some think that they are entitled to do and say whatever they want without consequences. And they also come back with some backhanded apology for their bad behaviors. "If you hadn't done/said (blank), I wouldn't have reacted so badly, so don't you see it's really your fault?" Bullshit. Straiten up, accept your faults, and move on. Those who survive the pitfalls and long term ups and downs of life say that they have good communication skills and solve problems. Learn how to do both.
2) Depressed because you're alone
Many fear being alone. They purposely will miss out on things because they don't have anyone to do things with. I never understood this myself. Some believe that a well established friend group can give someone proper social direction. Perhaps you don't want to do what the rest of the group is doing, or they don't want to do the same things you're interested in. Without a leader they do not strike out on their own and do whatever they want to. You can only excuse that so many times before you realize you are missing out on things just because you don't have a wing man/woman for it. Independence is a gift and the rest of what is holding you back is just nonsense. I have been commended for my bravery and fearlessness. Would I have ever met Morten and traveled the world for a-ha if I decided I was just going to stay home? Would I have ever been to the Great Pyramids of Egypt? What if I had let fear hold me back just because someone decided to be a loser and not join in? Someone's got to be the hero, someone has to live their dreams when others call you crazy or weird.
And then there are those who don't think when it comes to being alone. This happened to a few I've encountered, namely that hillbilly past (whose name I won't mention because I AIN'T CRAZY). Barely a year after breaking it off with me, he met and married another woman. He said he did not want kids and he married a woman with two children from two previous marriages. I can only imagine the nightmare he created with a woman he barely knew. His formerly easy going demeanor became mean and surly, I witnessed his rage only a few times (of which I am extremely grateful that it was only a few). I pity that woman to a degree, but according to a source she also took advantage of his not wanting to be alone. After three years, much of which was spent apart when she decided to move to another state, she divorced him, married husband #4, and has since divorced husband #4. Sad. Very sad. He was so eager to have someone in his life that he was willing to marry this woman, support her and her kids and he got taken for a ride. He feared being alone, and now he's REALLY alone.
3) Love unequal to capital
Many guys I know lament this holiday because that means they have to spend on their sweetheart or whoever it is around them. They see those commercials for diamonds and want to hurl all over the TV. They say it's an entirely feminine construction and they are pussy whipped into going along with it. Deep down, many say, they would never go along with some of it if there wasn't the possibility of sex attached to it. Counterpoint this by resolving a few things which we are overlooking. We have been conditioned by mass media to believe that we are to show others that we care by showering the other with said tokens. If and when we don't get them, we are disappointed. Yet, love is so much more than what the florists and Zale's are telling us it is. As much as we would like to think we are original and free thinkers, when it comes to love we are puppets of mass media. True romance does not cost much at all. It's about enjoying one another's company, thoughtfulness and being good to one another. It could be telling someone that you recognize their working hard for you or something else. It could be telling that other person "you make me happy", doing their taxes, or even washing their car. And maybe, it's just telling that other person "I love you". Really, those things don't cost a thing.
4) The Long Term
Perhaps what makes us all the more angry about The Game is that they cannot seem to keep that person with them. How many times have you heard that tired out old line "I love you, I'm just not IN love with you." If love endures and lasts for all the right reasons, that's a wonderful thing. It's not just between you and your partner, but you and your friends, your pets, all of those around you near and far who you come into contact with. When you encounter those who are always causing turmoil or insanity, don't speak to family or friends, there is no love in their lives. If and when they lash out at you, that means they are unhappy with themselves. Some don't see it as equality, they see their significant other as someone who is taking care of them financially, cleaning up after them, and supporting them in their mindless debauchery. That's not love, that's dependency. All the romantic gestures in the world won't mean much if you are untrustworthy or not pulling your weight. If both parties are as such, they will then move it from functionality to the sublime.
5) Left Behind
I watched this movie by former child star / born again Christian Kirk Cameron called Left Behind, about people who were left on Earth after The Rapture took place. About 99.99% of all the people on Earth were taken up to heaven (or simply just burned to ashes) when he and a handful of others were, for some reason, left behind to languish in the filth that the world had become. Aside from the Christian theme of the movie, just about everyone can relate to this. Who hasn't been hurt? Who hasn't been mistreated? Who hasn't had a glimmer of hope that it can somehow, someday happen to you too and been shot down? And the cruelest of the cruel say "I'm going to get another girlfriend". To you, with a bright smile and cheer in their voice? It happens. Because there is no such thing as someone who says that they are not interested in being with another. And you're left behind, you feel like the only one. Somewhere in the world there are those who will work out their problems rationally rather than resorting to sarcasm, threats, giving in, taking blame needlessly, avoidance, or pretending there is nothing wrong rather than being on the edge of all hell breaking loose. And I envy those people.
You've been left behind to wallow in your own filth. Now what do you do? You pick up the pieces and move on. You're wiser, you're depressed, and you might even be more bitter than you were before. And that's fine, you learned. On my part, I have been privileged to have met and talked to countless people in my lifetime, more than most. I've met people who have survived war, famine, diseases, and been subjected to horrific abuses that will leave you cringing inside. How could someone be so cruel to another? And when some douchebag throws you over for another piece of trash, be happy. It could've been you living that nightmare.
So you're alone on this day, you have no choice in the matter. Be happy with you, because you have no one else but you. And don't spit on the store displays, cry about what so and so did, or whine about how bad it is being you. Existence is suffering, and you will suffer under the cowardice and abuse of others. The gods wait to delight in you.
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