To be loved
There is a boy in my life now. He's much younger than me, shorter than me, and very needy. This is a 7th grade boy, age 12, who I will call Bob. Bob was a pest when I met him. He refused to cooperate with anyone or anything, was always faining injury or excuses as to why he couldn't do something, and was always running down to the office for some foolish reason or another. At first he made me angry, what a bad attitude, I thought. But once I learned a few things about him, I saw him in a new light.
Over the summer, Bob's father murdered his mother then killed himself. He was sent to live with Granny, Granny died of a heart attack a few weeks later. Then he was sent to live with an older brother, and the older brother died of a drug overdose in August. Now he's living with a sister, most likely being shuffled from foster home to foster home. He was sleeping in class the other day, because he was out until 2 in the morning on a Monday. His sister forgot to pick him up until then. The kids were asked to fill out a little ice breaker exercise the first day of class (favorite TV show, favorite food, etc.), he turned his in blank. I asked why, he said because I didn't want to know him.
The councilor in the office said that we have to practice tough love with him. He never turns in his homework, always looses it, and never does anything except when he's told to. He's failing because of this, not a thing to grade him on. He had an older brother there at the same place, his brother has dropped out of high school, sold drugs, committed crime and is now in jail. Bob is going to go down the same path, what choice does he have?
What hope does this child have for the future? I cannot be his friend, I have to be the adult in charge. A teacher, after all, is kind of like a substitute parent. You can't treat them with the same love that a parent would show their (or any) child. But he has no parent, no relative to tell them that they love or care about them. He latches onto someone, he asks to just be with you. He doesn't know how to say he's bored or he's lonely. He just wants to be loved. And I love him as I should love him. He comes up to me and asks if I have any candy for him, I always do. He said "I like being with you". I say "I like being with you too Bob." Then he sits down next to me and lays his head on the table while I'm grading Enrichment papers, he stares at me. I smile at him. He smiles back, one of the few times he smiles. I hope he enjoys this time he has here before life throws him for a loop either by his own hand or someone else's.
Over the summer, Bob's father murdered his mother then killed himself. He was sent to live with Granny, Granny died of a heart attack a few weeks later. Then he was sent to live with an older brother, and the older brother died of a drug overdose in August. Now he's living with a sister, most likely being shuffled from foster home to foster home. He was sleeping in class the other day, because he was out until 2 in the morning on a Monday. His sister forgot to pick him up until then. The kids were asked to fill out a little ice breaker exercise the first day of class (favorite TV show, favorite food, etc.), he turned his in blank. I asked why, he said because I didn't want to know him.
The councilor in the office said that we have to practice tough love with him. He never turns in his homework, always looses it, and never does anything except when he's told to. He's failing because of this, not a thing to grade him on. He had an older brother there at the same place, his brother has dropped out of high school, sold drugs, committed crime and is now in jail. Bob is going to go down the same path, what choice does he have?
What hope does this child have for the future? I cannot be his friend, I have to be the adult in charge. A teacher, after all, is kind of like a substitute parent. You can't treat them with the same love that a parent would show their (or any) child. But he has no parent, no relative to tell them that they love or care about them. He latches onto someone, he asks to just be with you. He doesn't know how to say he's bored or he's lonely. He just wants to be loved. And I love him as I should love him. He comes up to me and asks if I have any candy for him, I always do. He said "I like being with you". I say "I like being with you too Bob." Then he sits down next to me and lays his head on the table while I'm grading Enrichment papers, he stares at me. I smile at him. He smiles back, one of the few times he smiles. I hope he enjoys this time he has here before life throws him for a loop either by his own hand or someone else's.
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