Decisions, Decisions
I reached a decision today, one that may affect another. However, I have taken a new stance in life now and have since decided for the better. Mental health concerns are for the best, and yes it is rather self centered, but when is it that we are completely altruistic? It gets you in trouble no matter what you may think. Women in general are taught to give and give, not think of themselves and do no matter what to make others happy. At some point, we realize that's a load of bullshit. We are not weak and we are not going to let others chip away at one's self esteem.
This decision is probably the most asshole decision one can make in the world today (and in order to do so we somehow end up sharing it on the Internet somehow), that is to unfriend someone on Facebook. That is what I have done. I had a past with this person, he broke it off about 7 months ago, and I saw him a few more times after that. A few times it was to return some of his things that he left at my place, sometimes it was because I was in the neighborhood. But the real reason was because the world's full of lonely people and I was one of those people. About a month ago he sent a text and said we needed to talk about something. I called and asked what this concerned, he said he wanted to tell me that he was no longer single and didn't want me to find out by reading it on the Facebook news feed. He said he would've otherwise driven out to tell me this in person, he said he didn't know what to say about it (which is hilarious because he says a lot of things about a lot of things). I handled it like a lady, I said it would be foolish if not downright naive of me to assume that he did not have some kind of social life, even if that social life is confined to Internet chats and whatnot. I said "Godspeed" and that was that.
Of course, what do they all say but the classic "I want us to be friends". Well, didn't exactly work that way. Post something on his wall, he takes it down because the new girlfriend might be offended. I unsubscribed from his updates, but in a childish way I checked a few times because that's what we do on Facebook. It was disconcerting to see and hear of him having all these wonderful times with the new girlfriend when the whole time we were together it was not much of the same. I was all excited when Michael Ian Black was coming to the Grog Shop last fall and asked if he was going to come as well, but he said only if I was paying for it because he was broke. The answer was no, I went by myself. Do I know specifics about what is or isn't happening? No, I don't. And then to read all the lovely dovey posts of "Oh baby, I'm with you forever on this roller coaster ride of life! I love you so much!" and to see the responses of "I love you too." It's not about self pity, but when one never said that to you... Well, it hurts. But I have realized it's best for my mental health to unfriend at this time. Life may take me other places.
Positive affirmation is a good thing. Remember that one must only love those who love you, and not to bother with those who don't. What's the point of having people in your life who don't love you? Then when you send an IM or a text or a comment on the Facebook wall, you receive stiff answers. Ah well, life goes on. Dwelling in the past is not a good thing, we have to look to the future because that's longer than the past. I pretend that I am stronger, harder, rougher than the others, keep things from others. But I'm really not. The only way to do this is to eliminate the terrible things, keep yourself from stressing out, and do the right thing. And, the right thing in this case is to unfriend and keep myself from temptation and future immature behaviors. Life goes on.
This decision is probably the most asshole decision one can make in the world today (and in order to do so we somehow end up sharing it on the Internet somehow), that is to unfriend someone on Facebook. That is what I have done. I had a past with this person, he broke it off about 7 months ago, and I saw him a few more times after that. A few times it was to return some of his things that he left at my place, sometimes it was because I was in the neighborhood. But the real reason was because the world's full of lonely people and I was one of those people. About a month ago he sent a text and said we needed to talk about something. I called and asked what this concerned, he said he wanted to tell me that he was no longer single and didn't want me to find out by reading it on the Facebook news feed. He said he would've otherwise driven out to tell me this in person, he said he didn't know what to say about it (which is hilarious because he says a lot of things about a lot of things). I handled it like a lady, I said it would be foolish if not downright naive of me to assume that he did not have some kind of social life, even if that social life is confined to Internet chats and whatnot. I said "Godspeed" and that was that.
Of course, what do they all say but the classic "I want us to be friends". Well, didn't exactly work that way. Post something on his wall, he takes it down because the new girlfriend might be offended. I unsubscribed from his updates, but in a childish way I checked a few times because that's what we do on Facebook. It was disconcerting to see and hear of him having all these wonderful times with the new girlfriend when the whole time we were together it was not much of the same. I was all excited when Michael Ian Black was coming to the Grog Shop last fall and asked if he was going to come as well, but he said only if I was paying for it because he was broke. The answer was no, I went by myself. Do I know specifics about what is or isn't happening? No, I don't. And then to read all the lovely dovey posts of "Oh baby, I'm with you forever on this roller coaster ride of life! I love you so much!" and to see the responses of "I love you too." It's not about self pity, but when one never said that to you... Well, it hurts. But I have realized it's best for my mental health to unfriend at this time. Life may take me other places.
Positive affirmation is a good thing. Remember that one must only love those who love you, and not to bother with those who don't. What's the point of having people in your life who don't love you? Then when you send an IM or a text or a comment on the Facebook wall, you receive stiff answers. Ah well, life goes on. Dwelling in the past is not a good thing, we have to look to the future because that's longer than the past. I pretend that I am stronger, harder, rougher than the others, keep things from others. But I'm really not. The only way to do this is to eliminate the terrible things, keep yourself from stressing out, and do the right thing. And, the right thing in this case is to unfriend and keep myself from temptation and future immature behaviors. Life goes on.
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