Materialism
Last weekend I went to a pool party at someone's house who I didn't know. When asked how or why I was going, I admit I had little true explanation. In the past several weeks I have been going out quite a bit to MeetUp groups, found on their website MeetUp.com. Type in your zip code and interests (tennis, biking, swimming, etc.) and you will given a myriad of things to do in your region. As I have decided that I am going to extend my network even further than it already is (if possible), I have been going to a lot of these get togethers. Some people host parties at their houses (for games aired on television and regular party parties), opening up their dwelling to people they don't know. Why? I guess now that we are in the digital age, one just has to depend on the kindness of strangers and think to themselves "a stranger's just a friend you haven't met". Dangerous? I guess so, but that's another blog.
When I arrived, I was a little shocked to see the place. Since the RSVP said that they would have up to 50 people, I somehow expected this to be a giant house with a tremendous, well landscaped yard. Instead I found a modest bread box and a small backyard with a shed and above ground pool which had obviously been put in recently for the party. As the sun had gone down, it was really too cold for swimming even though I had brought a suit and a towel. My usual summer attire of shorts and T shirt was a bit too scant in terms of beating the heat, so I zipped up the hoodie I always keep tied around my waist just for emergencies. People were playing Cornhole (a.k.a. Hillbilly Horseshoes), had a kiddie pool full of ice and adult beverages, and a long table or two with various munchies and, yes they did, a karaoke machine.
I attempt when in a new situation to be as friendly as possible. I already knew two guys from previous trivia MeetUps in the past, we had not seen each other for about nine months to a year so it was nice to have a chat with them. Eventually I settled in one of the lawn chairs, sipping my Diet Coke and having chowed down on several slices of pizza. People seemed a little strained. After all, this is a place where most everyone does not know everyone else, but when one has these opportunities to be put in with other strangers, I learned, one must be as friendly as possible without being too friendly. I had a nice chat with a few people, an Indian guy in particular who seemed without much reservation about being as friendly as me.
It was then that I looked around and saw a bunch of monsters around me. One girl had a cleft palette, another guy looked like his eyes were on his temples and not centered in his face where they should've been. I tried not to be so judgemental, but when I said hello to some of them, they seemed to jump away and back off. Attitude adjustment, I reminded myself. Just because they are mean or odd does not imply that they are bad people or not worthy of something.
After a while, I said I had to leave. I was calling it an early night because I had a rewedding to go to tomorrow. What's that? someone asked. I said two friends had a wedding five years ago, but it was just a party and tomorrow they are going to sign the papers and make it legal so they are having another party. She asked me if she has a ring, I said I have no idea. She asked if she was going to get an upgrade on the ring she had already, I said I have no idea if she has a ring. She seemed angry with me over this, I couldn't understand why. I honestly had no idea if she had a ring or not. (Because of this, by the way, I did then next day check their hands and yes, they do have rings. Just modest, plain gold bands.) Materialism, I realized. It's not her fault. We have been taught by mass marketing campaigns to equate such displays of love and affection with spending rather than someone else more meaningful. Weddings are just such displays where you feel like you are a participant in an elaborate play rather than the joining of two people. It's not her fault, I realized.
And the rewedding was wonderful yesterday. Just as they were taking their vows the roosters and hens in their coop out back were crowing and cackling, making it all the more funny.
When I arrived, I was a little shocked to see the place. Since the RSVP said that they would have up to 50 people, I somehow expected this to be a giant house with a tremendous, well landscaped yard. Instead I found a modest bread box and a small backyard with a shed and above ground pool which had obviously been put in recently for the party. As the sun had gone down, it was really too cold for swimming even though I had brought a suit and a towel. My usual summer attire of shorts and T shirt was a bit too scant in terms of beating the heat, so I zipped up the hoodie I always keep tied around my waist just for emergencies. People were playing Cornhole (a.k.a. Hillbilly Horseshoes), had a kiddie pool full of ice and adult beverages, and a long table or two with various munchies and, yes they did, a karaoke machine.
I attempt when in a new situation to be as friendly as possible. I already knew two guys from previous trivia MeetUps in the past, we had not seen each other for about nine months to a year so it was nice to have a chat with them. Eventually I settled in one of the lawn chairs, sipping my Diet Coke and having chowed down on several slices of pizza. People seemed a little strained. After all, this is a place where most everyone does not know everyone else, but when one has these opportunities to be put in with other strangers, I learned, one must be as friendly as possible without being too friendly. I had a nice chat with a few people, an Indian guy in particular who seemed without much reservation about being as friendly as me.
It was then that I looked around and saw a bunch of monsters around me. One girl had a cleft palette, another guy looked like his eyes were on his temples and not centered in his face where they should've been. I tried not to be so judgemental, but when I said hello to some of them, they seemed to jump away and back off. Attitude adjustment, I reminded myself. Just because they are mean or odd does not imply that they are bad people or not worthy of something.
After a while, I said I had to leave. I was calling it an early night because I had a rewedding to go to tomorrow. What's that? someone asked. I said two friends had a wedding five years ago, but it was just a party and tomorrow they are going to sign the papers and make it legal so they are having another party. She asked me if she has a ring, I said I have no idea. She asked if she was going to get an upgrade on the ring she had already, I said I have no idea if she has a ring. She seemed angry with me over this, I couldn't understand why. I honestly had no idea if she had a ring or not. (Because of this, by the way, I did then next day check their hands and yes, they do have rings. Just modest, plain gold bands.) Materialism, I realized. It's not her fault. We have been taught by mass marketing campaigns to equate such displays of love and affection with spending rather than someone else more meaningful. Weddings are just such displays where you feel like you are a participant in an elaborate play rather than the joining of two people. It's not her fault, I realized.
And the rewedding was wonderful yesterday. Just as they were taking their vows the roosters and hens in their coop out back were crowing and cackling, making it all the more funny.
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