2ndclepunkbuddha

Some out there know what it is that I speak of when I say "panic attack".  This is not the same thing as a temper tantrum when things are not going your way or you don't get the things you want immediately.  Someone eats the last cookie or cupcake and you go ballistic because you wanted it.  So you come back around and say "there will be more cookies or cupcakes in my future".  A real panic attack can hit you out of no where, you believe that you are having a heart attack or a breakdown.  When this happens, you feel your heart beating like a five cylinder engine.  You break out in cold sweats.  It's hard to draw breath normally and it's shallow in your chest.  You can't concentrate, you're shaking, feeling a sense of numbness or tingle all through your body.  Your stomach is burning up and all foods taste like rubber.  Intestinal upsets also follow.  The worst of the worst I ever experienced hit me like a tidal wave, it spiked ...

When about to begin a new job the other week, I realized the other day that it has been more or less 15 years since I entered the workforce, and I wish I had a happier tale to tell than I have.   What would I say to my 22 year old self when about to start my first day as a full time working person that life would be good, that everything was going to be fine, that it would all be alright somehow?   Unfortunately I would not say that to my 22 year old self, or any other 22 year old self out there.   Work is a universal experience, something that is necessary in order to survive and have some kind of monetary gain coming into your bank account to fund what you would otherwise like to be doing.   That’s why it’s called “work” rather than “having fun”, after all.   After said 15 years in the workforce, this is what I have learned.             Many have chosen to go a more creative route when talking about w...

I was supposed to start a new job this week.  No, this is not a repeat of the nonsense of 2006 when I managed to go through three jobs in a year (the third one I was let go from because the whiner who I was working as a receptionist for said that he wasn't ready to get used to a new person and the woman who had quit and gone to another job he had asked to come back.  Insidentally, I dropped into that office a few weeks ago to give that guy a piece of my mind and there were two new people working there.  So much for resisting changes.)  This one is, once again, for a health company whose primary focus is to enter data.  It went through Congress a few years ago that all medical records have to be available on an Intranet system so all in clinical capacity have to be able to pull patient information up on a desktop, laptop, or tablet when seen.  Now all practices and facilities are in a mad scramble to get all their paperwork put onto said system, either by ma...

It has been said that if you want to know who your friends are, get yourself a jail sentence.  Dare I say that the same applies to one who has been admitted to the hospital or going through a divorce, as all three are like nightmares that you are never going to wake up from.  Some may say that the three may be worlds apart, but they are somewhat similar when you think about it.  You're confined to a place with others suffering but in just as much pain and mental illness as you, others are angry that you ended up there, and you want it to be over and done with as much as possible.  Forget about sleeping or being comfortable.  Of course, I have never been to jail for any reason.  I know enough about jail to know that there is nothing pleasant about being incarcerated.  For those who do not believe that, I say they don't have to listen to me but go there themselves and find out.  Also, I have never been through a divorce, but know that it too is like...

The day had finally arrived.  I spent the required so many hours making sure I was prepped and ready physically so as not a hair was out of place and I was as neat as a pin.  I knew I had scrubbed up nicely when some woman at the gas station at the pump across from me said that I was looking like a queen.  I told her I only dress up in order to do so.  C and I met at a Starbucks on Chagrin Boulevard, left his car there, and carpooled over a few blocks as parking was going to be a bitch.  And, there we were.  I gave him full props for dressing to the nines, and he did not wear the tie dyed T shirts and silver pants he would usually wear at Nelson's Ledges as his usual garb. With 48 hours and counting, something went down.  When I got my invite in the mail several months ago, there was to be a playdate at someone's house earlier that morning so that those in their classes could bring their kids.  Truth be told, this was what I was looking for...

We are now upon the eve of the reunion.  There are/were some events going on today but I opted to bow out of them, because I wouldn't be bothered with some of it.  I was never one for bowling and a happy hour could be found at any other bar I could attend.  I saw a lot of posts on Facebook from those who are there, and I am rather surprised by the amount of people that showed up.  Quite honestly, I had no idea who would or would not be showing up other than the usual suspects.  Earlier this week I ran into a gal who I attended (two years younger than me) with who also lives in Tremont at the coffee shop, I said I was going to it that weekend.  J said to me that she felt like she never belonged there, as she spent much of her time away doing other things, I said I felt the same.  She asked why I was going, I said I wasn't sure.  I've had much time to think about it, truth be told I still don't know.  The food?  Who knows.  J sai...

Just recently, another movie has been released of The Great Gatsby , a 1925 novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald.  While most artists do not enjoy success in their lifetimes, in stereotypical fashion, one has to die before their work is appreciated for its themes and depth of scope.  This novel (and subsequent film adaptations) deals with the themes of idealism, resistance to change, social class, decadence, and excess which takes place in the Jazz Age (the 1920s in America between World War I and World War II).  Of course just such things can be applied to any decade or social changes; and, in the great tradition of nostalgic twenty year cycles, Fitzgerald's novel was rediscovered in the 1940s for just such accomplishment and has since been applied to every high school English class and has been read by millions since. For the sake of redundancy the plot is as such : The narrator is a guy named Nick who has moved to New York for a job to work as a bond salesman.  While re...