Moving on
At different points in life, we all have to move on from things. Whether it's ending a relationship personal or business, we are often times left feeling alone and abandoned. The last time I experienced this was when I ended my relationship with a theater company of which I had been on their board for nine years. While reasons behind it were based on attitudes as well as poor business decisions that drove a lot of dedicated people out, it was still hard to accept this. But like all things, eventually we get used to it and say "life goes on". And, it does.
I am feeling a rather different kind of sadness that maybe some out there can related to in the education world. There is the moment when you realize that you have to leave the students soon. In many cases it's a mixed bag of emotions. Of course kids are not perfect, be they big kids or little kids, and they give you a lot of headaches and stress you out when trying to get all the work done for the day. Eventually you learn patience, and you learn what kind of patience you have for certain groups. A few years ago, I learned that I, in particular, do not have the patience for the very little kids (preK-2) unless they are in a very small group to control. I try to keep my assignments away from them for my own peace of mind. 3rd grade would be the absolute limit for me. Middle and high schoolers are separate issues in themselves. I have spent a long time as a substitute teacher, even as a long term sub at a Catholic school which no longer exists. Sometimes as you are subbing at a place multiple times, some students get to know you or at least recognize you. You have somewhat of a relationship with them. When I was a long term sub? Well, that was a complete disaster and a half. Originally I was to be the ELA long term sub for 5-8, then I was put into a class of 3rd graders. I will refrain from sharing the horror stories, because it was truly a nightmare once I discovered the three major behavioral problems and how far behind they really were. After getting ousted via text message at 10 PM at night on a Thursday, one week later the place closed. Yes, closed. Out of curiosity I drove down to the place last summer and went into the fire department across the street from them. I asked the firemen on duty that day what happened next door. They said moving trucks and vans came in, took things out of the building, and that was that. People don't even go to church on Sundays there anymore. I have no idea what happened to their final grades or remember anyone's name (student, staff or parent). Everyone and everything literally scattered to the wind, and I never heard a word from anyone ever again.
I face this feeling once again. This last year, I took a job as a proctor at a boarding school on the east side. It was a rocky road for all kinds of reasons. I drove 30 miles each way to the place and had to be there at 6:30 in the morning. The dormers were a group of about 70 boys and girls, grades 9-12 and a few post grads. This was the first group I officially got to "know". True, I was not officially teaching them, but I saw them every morning as they were getting off to school each day. Some took medications, some of them were suffering from sickness and I took care of them with over the counter meds and taking their temperatures, others I made doctor's appointments for. I'm not a parent, as it didn't happen for me, but it was going through all the emotions that one goes through with kids. The mood swings, the insanity, the dramas. I knew the good from the bad ones, the attitudes and the foolishness. Most of them were seniors, and I realized in April, the cruelest month of them all, that we were going to part ways soon. I'd have to leave them soon. And I am surprised how much I miss them all just a week later.
On my last day I got a phone call from the human resources department saying that I would not be returning next year, the position was being absorbed by the assistant dean. While I was disappointed in this decision, I bowed out with class and said I understood. I said my goodbyes to the staff (wishing one of the athletic coaches who would not be returning next year as he had taken a head coaching job in another state happy trails), I kind of hoped that we would be friends outside of work. They were all what I was supposed to be around - educated, all with white collar jobs and dedicated in the same field as I. However, as it's been proven to me time and time again, out of sight, out of mind. Apathy set in like it has with just about all of my past relationships with others, people simply closed the books and moved on. I felt double sad in that. One in particular as I felt like we had somewhat of a connection past a business one. I sent him a few text messages in the last few months both business and personal related, at some point he never responded again. Last night, I texted him again with something chatty. No response. I said to him once again, via text, "Well, I guess this is our official goodbye then by your silence. Godspeed." No response. I'm happy to say that the cleaner responded to me.
But moving on. Being a swashbuckling rogue can have its lonely moments at times, but they will pass. Actual friends are hard to come by, but life goes on. Hard as a rock, never looking back. Keep moving forward …
I am feeling a rather different kind of sadness that maybe some out there can related to in the education world. There is the moment when you realize that you have to leave the students soon. In many cases it's a mixed bag of emotions. Of course kids are not perfect, be they big kids or little kids, and they give you a lot of headaches and stress you out when trying to get all the work done for the day. Eventually you learn patience, and you learn what kind of patience you have for certain groups. A few years ago, I learned that I, in particular, do not have the patience for the very little kids (preK-2) unless they are in a very small group to control. I try to keep my assignments away from them for my own peace of mind. 3rd grade would be the absolute limit for me. Middle and high schoolers are separate issues in themselves. I have spent a long time as a substitute teacher, even as a long term sub at a Catholic school which no longer exists. Sometimes as you are subbing at a place multiple times, some students get to know you or at least recognize you. You have somewhat of a relationship with them. When I was a long term sub? Well, that was a complete disaster and a half. Originally I was to be the ELA long term sub for 5-8, then I was put into a class of 3rd graders. I will refrain from sharing the horror stories, because it was truly a nightmare once I discovered the three major behavioral problems and how far behind they really were. After getting ousted via text message at 10 PM at night on a Thursday, one week later the place closed. Yes, closed. Out of curiosity I drove down to the place last summer and went into the fire department across the street from them. I asked the firemen on duty that day what happened next door. They said moving trucks and vans came in, took things out of the building, and that was that. People don't even go to church on Sundays there anymore. I have no idea what happened to their final grades or remember anyone's name (student, staff or parent). Everyone and everything literally scattered to the wind, and I never heard a word from anyone ever again.
I face this feeling once again. This last year, I took a job as a proctor at a boarding school on the east side. It was a rocky road for all kinds of reasons. I drove 30 miles each way to the place and had to be there at 6:30 in the morning. The dormers were a group of about 70 boys and girls, grades 9-12 and a few post grads. This was the first group I officially got to "know". True, I was not officially teaching them, but I saw them every morning as they were getting off to school each day. Some took medications, some of them were suffering from sickness and I took care of them with over the counter meds and taking their temperatures, others I made doctor's appointments for. I'm not a parent, as it didn't happen for me, but it was going through all the emotions that one goes through with kids. The mood swings, the insanity, the dramas. I knew the good from the bad ones, the attitudes and the foolishness. Most of them were seniors, and I realized in April, the cruelest month of them all, that we were going to part ways soon. I'd have to leave them soon. And I am surprised how much I miss them all just a week later.
On my last day I got a phone call from the human resources department saying that I would not be returning next year, the position was being absorbed by the assistant dean. While I was disappointed in this decision, I bowed out with class and said I understood. I said my goodbyes to the staff (wishing one of the athletic coaches who would not be returning next year as he had taken a head coaching job in another state happy trails), I kind of hoped that we would be friends outside of work. They were all what I was supposed to be around - educated, all with white collar jobs and dedicated in the same field as I. However, as it's been proven to me time and time again, out of sight, out of mind. Apathy set in like it has with just about all of my past relationships with others, people simply closed the books and moved on. I felt double sad in that. One in particular as I felt like we had somewhat of a connection past a business one. I sent him a few text messages in the last few months both business and personal related, at some point he never responded again. Last night, I texted him again with something chatty. No response. I said to him once again, via text, "Well, I guess this is our official goodbye then by your silence. Godspeed." No response. I'm happy to say that the cleaner responded to me.
But moving on. Being a swashbuckling rogue can have its lonely moments at times, but they will pass. Actual friends are hard to come by, but life goes on. Hard as a rock, never looking back. Keep moving forward …
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