2018, a look back
As always, as the year approaches its end, I take the time out to reflect upon the changes and things learned in the past year. This was quite a dramatic year for me, both personally and professionally. I am happy to say that I learned a lot from it and I am truly in a better place because of it. First, a look at the professional changes :
I managed to switch roles quite often this year professionally. I started off the year by becoming a home health aid. A former coworker from the group home in which I worked recommended it to me and I went through the online training, then spent a whole month and a half at the job. I learned rather quickly with the home health aid thing (like a lot of jobs in the social work / nursing world) that they are not good things because of the abuse you suffer and disorganization. It's an alright gig if you just want to sit on your can all day watching movies on your laptop (which I did 80% of the time when the client was not self medicating in the other room or screaming at me). Unfortunately the job just vanished and I moved on. When I took the day off for a dentist appointment I got a text from the coordinator saying services were canceled and I was not to contact the client again. I went past the house a few more times over the summer while getting my miles in for the day, I saw that there was a dumpster in the driveway. When I questioned the neighbors what had happened they said there was a fire in the house, she got out but the whole house is being revamped courtesy of some organization. The place was a pig sty since she never cleaned and it was all a hoarding nightmare. And I realized she was one of those people who was getting free rides and things from others because she was owed it, pretended to be more disabled that she really was, etc. A few weeks ago at 10 PM on a Friday night she called me. Not wanting to hear her screaming at me, I hung up on her and blocked her number. We're done, no love lost.
Phase 2 of this year's job adventures was to go back to subbing, which was alright. I took a few jobs here and there at Catholic schools around my city, I wanted a change of scene. I decided to take a long term subbing job at a school in Akron because I was offered it, wanted a change of pace, etc. Plus the principal promised me he would sign the non-tax license to approve for me to teach full time in non-public schools. I was hired to teach ELA to 5-8 graders initially for two weeks, their teacher was off for medical leave. I knew I would be there for the remainder of the quarter after a few days, then I was switched to the 3rd grade. While 7th and 8th grade are the roughest grades to teach across the board, these were some of the best kids I had ever encountered - smart, well behaved, hard workers, mature. The 6th and 5th graders were thugs, as were the 3rd grade. I was the third teacher they had had that year. I found out rather quickly that they were so far behind they didn't know division, they didn't know the difference between a city, a state and a country, they had never read a book for the entire year, etc. On the day that I went home and did the registration with the department of education for the non-tax license, I got a text from the principal at 10 PM saying he saw the activity on my Twitter account and my services were no longer needed. One week later, the school closed. Yes, closed. I have no idea what happened to their final grades, never heard a word from anyone ever again. Out of curiosity I drove down over the summer to the place and found the building still standing with everything gone within. Everyone and everything literally scattered to the wind. And, like the rest of them, I suppose, I closed the books and moved on.
Phase 3 was a summer job as a job coach for the developmentally disabled, this group was for teenagers looking to get their first jobs in retail, cleaning, office work, etc. It was a lot of fun actually for the first group, we went on tours of many places I would not have otherwise gone to like the world center for duct tape manufacturing in Avon, Ohio (Duck Brand World Headquarters), manufacturing sites, Goodwill stores, a local newspaper publishing plant, and a local courthouse. I was lucky as my group I was assigned to actually coach on the job were four very pleasant guys who me and this other woman trained to be cleaners at a YMCA chapter. Once it was over with, they all went back to high school and I finished my final reports, and that was that once again.
Phase 4? Well, Phase 4 has been rather dramatic as well. I took a job as a morning proctor at a boarding school. It's actually very similar to working at the group home, the only thing is that while I am not a medical professional I have all the knowledge necessary to be one. There have been some rocky moments, but in general I am quite happy there and know this will go on. Some days are good, others are crazy, but I think we're in a good place now. I also decided this is where I want to someday be - teaching in a boarding school. This will be a process but it will be the process that I am fully ready to conquer. It's been a challenge to say the least. You do have to be a little crazy to be in this world and, well, aren't I just a bit? Ha ha ha ...
Personally it was a year of changes as well. I am happy to say that I made a few new friends this year and I have established good relationships with them all. I also eliminated some as well. I realized with a few people from my childhood I was practicing some OCD with our relationships and I have let go of that. There are some from my past I talk to once or twice a year through Facebook which is fine, and if others aren't talking to me, that's also fine. People just close the books and move on from you, and you them, and we all have to respect that. Some I wish we didn't have such bad fallings out from the past, but that's what it is. I can say now that I have outgrown Tremont, rock clubs and whatnot that you get into when you are in your teens and early/mid twenties. While I still maintain many relationships with others from that era and geography, others I do not, which is fine. I kind of like this adult life now where it's quieter and far more calm than it was before. Family life is good as well, but that's been pretty good for a long time now. We're past a lot of that nonsense just like I am.
Probably the biggest thing I realized I had to let go of and did was my relationship with a theater company in the city. I had joined them nine years ago out of no where. My one friend who was involved with it roped me and others in to be extras for a shoot they were doing in a film sequence which was to be broadcast during one of their plays in the summer of 2009 (the play was Big Love), and I had discovered, like everything else, a great new place to be. It was a wonderful networking opportunity, I met a lot of good people and things. I joined the labor force and had many a weekend working hard building and painting sets, eventually being the one that took over making the work call lunches and getting to see everyone swoon over my cooking. It was an exciting time, to be sure. But, as the years went by and waned, so did my relationship with them. The idealism eventually gave way to realities. Things changed, people came and went, and it was time to move on. I am sorry to say that my relationship with them came to a screeching halt rather than a gradual fading away. True, I began to feel as if I was being taken for granted / advantage of for my hard work and generosity towards them, but I was not the first who had that feeling. What caused me to walk away? It was nonsense looking back, probably for the one as well, but a company member leaned into me over a Facebook post. Yes, it was foolishness, but I will address the issue here and now because I think it should be addressed rather than ignored...
As many may recall, in this rather horrible #metoo movement that started up this year, many celebrities were accused of sexual harrassment or making inappropriate gestures (physical or verbal) towards others. Granted, famous people are not the only ones who have done or said something along this lines. God only knows I have been accused of doing or saying inappropriate things to others over the years, which is why I am fairly silent most of the time when around people now. But this has reached the point now of conducting a witch hunt as far as I am concerned. One of the famous people who were accused of this was Morgan Freeman in late May of this year. Someone posted that he had been accused of doing or saying something inappropriate to them, much of the incidents which were sited happened nearly fifty years ago. I replied to this post that this is turning into a witch hunt, like I said earlier, and I was handed my ass out in a rather vicious response. When I was younger, I thought nothing of responding to things like that with equal ferocity. Now that I am older and wiser, I want to live a quiet life now, and, like a lot of things I mentioned before, simply close the book and move on. I suppose I could say what I feel about this gal who did so, there may have been and are some who will defend her social justice warrior status, and they are welcome to do so. But I really don't know much about her except what I have seen of her. And what I have seen is that she seems to love being the center of attention at all times. She may want to serve the community by being a social justice warrior, but only if it's something that features her being in the spotlight. Wrong? I may be, I am not afraid to admit if and when I am wrong about something. I'm sure she's suffered greatly at the hands of Morgan Freeman or others I don't know about. You just wait until you're too old to be taken seriously or have someone jump down your throat, I'll just mind my own business and stay in the shadows. It keeps the "I told you so" from coming out. She can now have all the attention she wants and never have to worry about me again trying to take any from her. And with that, I said "this is the end", and I informed the now former company manager that I was not going to be at set build that weekend or any other from that point forward. My harasser can now take all that talent and passion and whatever else and put it to good use, when she's the center of attention and not others. And Morgan Freeman is in the clear, I think he's doing quite well these days. Not that I ever paid much attention to him before or after this, but I am glad he survived such an accusation. Here it is six months later and no one's talking about it, and the accusers are not known or even have gotten their fifteen minutes that they were looking for. Pity. But despite all that, the time had come for me to say good-bye and that's what I did. I have closed the book and moved on, as a lot of others no doubt have done or will be doing soon, and I wish everyone there the best. Even her.
So moving onto 2019 with a low profile still. It's been a dramatic year and I'm ready for a calmer one starting soon.
I managed to switch roles quite often this year professionally. I started off the year by becoming a home health aid. A former coworker from the group home in which I worked recommended it to me and I went through the online training, then spent a whole month and a half at the job. I learned rather quickly with the home health aid thing (like a lot of jobs in the social work / nursing world) that they are not good things because of the abuse you suffer and disorganization. It's an alright gig if you just want to sit on your can all day watching movies on your laptop (which I did 80% of the time when the client was not self medicating in the other room or screaming at me). Unfortunately the job just vanished and I moved on. When I took the day off for a dentist appointment I got a text from the coordinator saying services were canceled and I was not to contact the client again. I went past the house a few more times over the summer while getting my miles in for the day, I saw that there was a dumpster in the driveway. When I questioned the neighbors what had happened they said there was a fire in the house, she got out but the whole house is being revamped courtesy of some organization. The place was a pig sty since she never cleaned and it was all a hoarding nightmare. And I realized she was one of those people who was getting free rides and things from others because she was owed it, pretended to be more disabled that she really was, etc. A few weeks ago at 10 PM on a Friday night she called me. Not wanting to hear her screaming at me, I hung up on her and blocked her number. We're done, no love lost.
Phase 2 of this year's job adventures was to go back to subbing, which was alright. I took a few jobs here and there at Catholic schools around my city, I wanted a change of scene. I decided to take a long term subbing job at a school in Akron because I was offered it, wanted a change of pace, etc. Plus the principal promised me he would sign the non-tax license to approve for me to teach full time in non-public schools. I was hired to teach ELA to 5-8 graders initially for two weeks, their teacher was off for medical leave. I knew I would be there for the remainder of the quarter after a few days, then I was switched to the 3rd grade. While 7th and 8th grade are the roughest grades to teach across the board, these were some of the best kids I had ever encountered - smart, well behaved, hard workers, mature. The 6th and 5th graders were thugs, as were the 3rd grade. I was the third teacher they had had that year. I found out rather quickly that they were so far behind they didn't know division, they didn't know the difference between a city, a state and a country, they had never read a book for the entire year, etc. On the day that I went home and did the registration with the department of education for the non-tax license, I got a text from the principal at 10 PM saying he saw the activity on my Twitter account and my services were no longer needed. One week later, the school closed. Yes, closed. I have no idea what happened to their final grades, never heard a word from anyone ever again. Out of curiosity I drove down over the summer to the place and found the building still standing with everything gone within. Everyone and everything literally scattered to the wind. And, like the rest of them, I suppose, I closed the books and moved on.
Phase 3 was a summer job as a job coach for the developmentally disabled, this group was for teenagers looking to get their first jobs in retail, cleaning, office work, etc. It was a lot of fun actually for the first group, we went on tours of many places I would not have otherwise gone to like the world center for duct tape manufacturing in Avon, Ohio (Duck Brand World Headquarters), manufacturing sites, Goodwill stores, a local newspaper publishing plant, and a local courthouse. I was lucky as my group I was assigned to actually coach on the job were four very pleasant guys who me and this other woman trained to be cleaners at a YMCA chapter. Once it was over with, they all went back to high school and I finished my final reports, and that was that once again.
Phase 4? Well, Phase 4 has been rather dramatic as well. I took a job as a morning proctor at a boarding school. It's actually very similar to working at the group home, the only thing is that while I am not a medical professional I have all the knowledge necessary to be one. There have been some rocky moments, but in general I am quite happy there and know this will go on. Some days are good, others are crazy, but I think we're in a good place now. I also decided this is where I want to someday be - teaching in a boarding school. This will be a process but it will be the process that I am fully ready to conquer. It's been a challenge to say the least. You do have to be a little crazy to be in this world and, well, aren't I just a bit? Ha ha ha ...
Personally it was a year of changes as well. I am happy to say that I made a few new friends this year and I have established good relationships with them all. I also eliminated some as well. I realized with a few people from my childhood I was practicing some OCD with our relationships and I have let go of that. There are some from my past I talk to once or twice a year through Facebook which is fine, and if others aren't talking to me, that's also fine. People just close the books and move on from you, and you them, and we all have to respect that. Some I wish we didn't have such bad fallings out from the past, but that's what it is. I can say now that I have outgrown Tremont, rock clubs and whatnot that you get into when you are in your teens and early/mid twenties. While I still maintain many relationships with others from that era and geography, others I do not, which is fine. I kind of like this adult life now where it's quieter and far more calm than it was before. Family life is good as well, but that's been pretty good for a long time now. We're past a lot of that nonsense just like I am.
Probably the biggest thing I realized I had to let go of and did was my relationship with a theater company in the city. I had joined them nine years ago out of no where. My one friend who was involved with it roped me and others in to be extras for a shoot they were doing in a film sequence which was to be broadcast during one of their plays in the summer of 2009 (the play was Big Love), and I had discovered, like everything else, a great new place to be. It was a wonderful networking opportunity, I met a lot of good people and things. I joined the labor force and had many a weekend working hard building and painting sets, eventually being the one that took over making the work call lunches and getting to see everyone swoon over my cooking. It was an exciting time, to be sure. But, as the years went by and waned, so did my relationship with them. The idealism eventually gave way to realities. Things changed, people came and went, and it was time to move on. I am sorry to say that my relationship with them came to a screeching halt rather than a gradual fading away. True, I began to feel as if I was being taken for granted / advantage of for my hard work and generosity towards them, but I was not the first who had that feeling. What caused me to walk away? It was nonsense looking back, probably for the one as well, but a company member leaned into me over a Facebook post. Yes, it was foolishness, but I will address the issue here and now because I think it should be addressed rather than ignored...
As many may recall, in this rather horrible #metoo movement that started up this year, many celebrities were accused of sexual harrassment or making inappropriate gestures (physical or verbal) towards others. Granted, famous people are not the only ones who have done or said something along this lines. God only knows I have been accused of doing or saying inappropriate things to others over the years, which is why I am fairly silent most of the time when around people now. But this has reached the point now of conducting a witch hunt as far as I am concerned. One of the famous people who were accused of this was Morgan Freeman in late May of this year. Someone posted that he had been accused of doing or saying something inappropriate to them, much of the incidents which were sited happened nearly fifty years ago. I replied to this post that this is turning into a witch hunt, like I said earlier, and I was handed my ass out in a rather vicious response. When I was younger, I thought nothing of responding to things like that with equal ferocity. Now that I am older and wiser, I want to live a quiet life now, and, like a lot of things I mentioned before, simply close the book and move on. I suppose I could say what I feel about this gal who did so, there may have been and are some who will defend her social justice warrior status, and they are welcome to do so. But I really don't know much about her except what I have seen of her. And what I have seen is that she seems to love being the center of attention at all times. She may want to serve the community by being a social justice warrior, but only if it's something that features her being in the spotlight. Wrong? I may be, I am not afraid to admit if and when I am wrong about something. I'm sure she's suffered greatly at the hands of Morgan Freeman or others I don't know about. You just wait until you're too old to be taken seriously or have someone jump down your throat, I'll just mind my own business and stay in the shadows. It keeps the "I told you so" from coming out. She can now have all the attention she wants and never have to worry about me again trying to take any from her. And with that, I said "this is the end", and I informed the now former company manager that I was not going to be at set build that weekend or any other from that point forward. My harasser can now take all that talent and passion and whatever else and put it to good use, when she's the center of attention and not others. And Morgan Freeman is in the clear, I think he's doing quite well these days. Not that I ever paid much attention to him before or after this, but I am glad he survived such an accusation. Here it is six months later and no one's talking about it, and the accusers are not known or even have gotten their fifteen minutes that they were looking for. Pity. But despite all that, the time had come for me to say good-bye and that's what I did. I have closed the book and moved on, as a lot of others no doubt have done or will be doing soon, and I wish everyone there the best. Even her.
So moving onto 2019 with a low profile still. It's been a dramatic year and I'm ready for a calmer one starting soon.
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