Naked part 4
The day had at last come for me to once again to do my part for the film. The director, cast and crew had been working diligently despite all the slings and arrows to make it happen, all were dedicated and the ones who had proven themselves unreliable had long since disappeared. I arrived at the art school a few weeks ago to do the first phase of the bit agreed upon. Here the camera was rigged onto a platform where I was to be on display. Still photographs as well were displayed on the secret Facebook page, and I allowed two of them to be published. In one I was covered in a makeshift sheet / kimono, in the other I was hidden behind the snapping board that the crew uses to announce takes and reel numbers. This time, however, I was in a more obvious situation. I took everything off and put on a robe and flip flops, as did J. We were to be models in an art class, sitting upon a platform on the second floor. J laid back so we were shoulder to shoulder, I keep my expression neutral and sat still. Someone once told me I have a real gift for holding still when the time comes as a model.
Here the main character, our actress D, was taking a group of black guys around all dressed in suits and ties and sporting sunglasses indoors, around us with pencils and sketch pads in hand. She was showing them how to draw things in perspective, using her thumb as a guide as artists who draw or paint are seen doing. It was cold in that room, I felt it but did not complain in the slightest. Eventually, as not to reveal the entire plot of the movie (which would be difficult anyway because it is/was a surrealist film with no definite plot), J dressed up in a suit and tie as well because he was sort of joining the clique of black guys who were in the scene. Afterward we were taken to a portion of the building that was or is some kind of kitchen space, absent of large and small appliances and furniture. I was to be naked in this scene as well, the only one to be naked in the scene. Here I did a variety of poses while the group sort of followed me around the room. As I stood there completely naked (save for my flip flops), turning and twisting, they all pretended to be drawing me. This was one of the more scary moments because, quite honestly, I did not know what to expect out of this scene. It felt like I was Rosemary being lead into the witches' coven, when Satan himself was going to rise up out of hell and begat the son of mortal woman. Even though I was the only one naked in the scene, all eyes, for a variety of reasons, we on me.
I told a friend about this when I got home, he said that doing that showed my commitment as an artist for something. Does it really? I thought on that for a while. John Lennon said that one of the reasons he loved Yoko so much was because she inspired him to do more things for art, be edgier, and break out of the norm. Do I agree with this statement? I agree that doing things for the sake of art is a good thing to do, no question. It does make me more edgy, I did break out of the norm for it, but I don't feel the need to broadcast it to others. At least not to those in the general public that I have interacted with. Some say it will come back and haunt me. Of this I fail to see. So many celebrities have appeared in sex tapes (Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson, etc.) in the recent past. And it's not just the state of being naked or being in the act itself with another person. Kate Moss was caught on a camera phone snorting lines of cocaine and it seemed to reflect positively on all parties involved. I wasn't caught by any means or forced into the situation (ex. Girls Gone Wild), nor do I see myself as having a lucrative career in filmmaking or the arts. I did it because I wanted to do it for the sake of vanity, and it was a Bucket List item. Suddenly you're not afraid anymore, suddenly you feel sexy and confident when you didn't before and you're not ashamed of yourself. And it wasn't a horrible feeling either, I kept myself modest rather than obviously wanting and needing the attention. I was excited after it was over with, though. I met a challenge and made myself do it, and no one seemed to think that I was nervous or afraid to do so (even though inside I was).
Now I can turn 40 and be happy that this was preserved now rather than when I was 20.
Here the main character, our actress D, was taking a group of black guys around all dressed in suits and ties and sporting sunglasses indoors, around us with pencils and sketch pads in hand. She was showing them how to draw things in perspective, using her thumb as a guide as artists who draw or paint are seen doing. It was cold in that room, I felt it but did not complain in the slightest. Eventually, as not to reveal the entire plot of the movie (which would be difficult anyway because it is/was a surrealist film with no definite plot), J dressed up in a suit and tie as well because he was sort of joining the clique of black guys who were in the scene. Afterward we were taken to a portion of the building that was or is some kind of kitchen space, absent of large and small appliances and furniture. I was to be naked in this scene as well, the only one to be naked in the scene. Here I did a variety of poses while the group sort of followed me around the room. As I stood there completely naked (save for my flip flops), turning and twisting, they all pretended to be drawing me. This was one of the more scary moments because, quite honestly, I did not know what to expect out of this scene. It felt like I was Rosemary being lead into the witches' coven, when Satan himself was going to rise up out of hell and begat the son of mortal woman. Even though I was the only one naked in the scene, all eyes, for a variety of reasons, we on me.
I told a friend about this when I got home, he said that doing that showed my commitment as an artist for something. Does it really? I thought on that for a while. John Lennon said that one of the reasons he loved Yoko so much was because she inspired him to do more things for art, be edgier, and break out of the norm. Do I agree with this statement? I agree that doing things for the sake of art is a good thing to do, no question. It does make me more edgy, I did break out of the norm for it, but I don't feel the need to broadcast it to others. At least not to those in the general public that I have interacted with. Some say it will come back and haunt me. Of this I fail to see. So many celebrities have appeared in sex tapes (Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson, etc.) in the recent past. And it's not just the state of being naked or being in the act itself with another person. Kate Moss was caught on a camera phone snorting lines of cocaine and it seemed to reflect positively on all parties involved. I wasn't caught by any means or forced into the situation (ex. Girls Gone Wild), nor do I see myself as having a lucrative career in filmmaking or the arts. I did it because I wanted to do it for the sake of vanity, and it was a Bucket List item. Suddenly you're not afraid anymore, suddenly you feel sexy and confident when you didn't before and you're not ashamed of yourself. And it wasn't a horrible feeling either, I kept myself modest rather than obviously wanting and needing the attention. I was excited after it was over with, though. I met a challenge and made myself do it, and no one seemed to think that I was nervous or afraid to do so (even though inside I was).
Now I can turn 40 and be happy that this was preserved now rather than when I was 20.
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