Financial management
It was time to pay the piper with the dreaded Student Loan. It have not been feared, I knew it was inevitable. What made me cringe was the fact that I would have to face Dad with this, and he was not a happy camper. True, I keep in mind we are all in the midst of our own financial crisis all over the place and my family is no exception to this rule. Mom and Dad have downsized just like the rest of us, but when your father says to you "This is the worst thing you have ever done", that makes your self esteem go right down the gutter. I have come to realize in the last few years that is what men in general seem to like to do to women in direct or indirect ways : put down your self esteem because it makes them feel good about themselves. Perhaps this is why women find themselves in such terrible situations with Alpha Males (aka Bad Boys), due to such mixed signals we get from our fathers. How many times have I been at the mercy of one of his verbal abuses to have me break down in tears only to have him come up to me and hug me and tell me no one loves me more than him? And since he's fixed my problems, that's why women think they can fix another's. But that's not news by any means, and not something I want to get into.
So I have decided to do some severe financial management that I was not really doing before. New bank account was created specifically to hold loan and property tax moneys, and I am determined to get my dreaded credit card debt down (which has been a separate beast for a while). I hate the fact that I might find myself not going places or doing things because I don't want to spend, but that's how it roles. Honestly, it does not bother me that I will have this loan thing over me for the next 25 years. Quite honestly, who cares? When so many losers out there have ruined our economy based on our own inept attitudes and spinelessness in the face of adversity, and having others shout F bombs at you because they are allowed to do and say whatever they want and you aren't while those allowed are also the ones who ruin it. I tried, I think we all tried to do our best with what we have. What was my alternative in order to do so but stay in an educational world if no one else was hiring you to do anything? I was laid off last fall by my boss (who I have nothing but the utmost respect for since we had been though a lot together), then my boss was fired and then at long, LONG last, the shrew who did nothing but cause problems.
Talking to Mom does not really help. There have been so many situation in which one has some go round with the father and then the mother comes in or we go to Mom seeking comfort. Mom tries, she does, but she too comes from a different era with much different values than the world around her. She said she's worried about me, I am still in a certain phase of life. I asked what that was, she more or less said I am living like a hipster, I have not "made it" yet, and I don't have a husband and/or children. I was not offended to hear this by any means, quite honestly it sounds nice. The means in which to get these things is what's offensive about the statement. Still, we are living in strange times. Those who did that nonsense in their twenties are now divorced because they grabbed onto the first available piece of shlock that came along rather than taking the time out to get to know them. That's what happens when you marry someone you've known for 6 weeks after all. She indicated I needed a man in order to be happy, and I do not disagree with this statement but it's rather depressing to come to the realization that you are not wanted by the opposite sex. Instead they go for trashy girls who are less educated, less disciplined, have little to no ambition, and cause nothing but dramas rather than create a stability. Because that's what they like, whether or not they are going to admit it or not.
So trying to battle depressive episodes today based on finances and the future, but that's not news. Someday I will have something full of pep to write about, but not today, not to mention a more original subject matter. But hey, it's what we're all going through collectively. And there will be no whining but moving forward.
So I have decided to do some severe financial management that I was not really doing before. New bank account was created specifically to hold loan and property tax moneys, and I am determined to get my dreaded credit card debt down (which has been a separate beast for a while). I hate the fact that I might find myself not going places or doing things because I don't want to spend, but that's how it roles. Honestly, it does not bother me that I will have this loan thing over me for the next 25 years. Quite honestly, who cares? When so many losers out there have ruined our economy based on our own inept attitudes and spinelessness in the face of adversity, and having others shout F bombs at you because they are allowed to do and say whatever they want and you aren't while those allowed are also the ones who ruin it. I tried, I think we all tried to do our best with what we have. What was my alternative in order to do so but stay in an educational world if no one else was hiring you to do anything? I was laid off last fall by my boss (who I have nothing but the utmost respect for since we had been though a lot together), then my boss was fired and then at long, LONG last, the shrew who did nothing but cause problems.
Talking to Mom does not really help. There have been so many situation in which one has some go round with the father and then the mother comes in or we go to Mom seeking comfort. Mom tries, she does, but she too comes from a different era with much different values than the world around her. She said she's worried about me, I am still in a certain phase of life. I asked what that was, she more or less said I am living like a hipster, I have not "made it" yet, and I don't have a husband and/or children. I was not offended to hear this by any means, quite honestly it sounds nice. The means in which to get these things is what's offensive about the statement. Still, we are living in strange times. Those who did that nonsense in their twenties are now divorced because they grabbed onto the first available piece of shlock that came along rather than taking the time out to get to know them. That's what happens when you marry someone you've known for 6 weeks after all. She indicated I needed a man in order to be happy, and I do not disagree with this statement but it's rather depressing to come to the realization that you are not wanted by the opposite sex. Instead they go for trashy girls who are less educated, less disciplined, have little to no ambition, and cause nothing but dramas rather than create a stability. Because that's what they like, whether or not they are going to admit it or not.
So trying to battle depressive episodes today based on finances and the future, but that's not news. Someday I will have something full of pep to write about, but not today, not to mention a more original subject matter. But hey, it's what we're all going through collectively. And there will be no whining but moving forward.
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