Headaches and hangovers
There has been a decline in civility in the world, this is hardly a revelation. Also, one never ceases to be amazed at how others do not have accountability for their actions. Practicum turned into a horror story because of the constant whining and mouths of the tweens around me. One day, one of the repeat offenders said to "Get out of my face, I'm talking to the real teacher here!" That was the straw that broke the camel's back with me. With that I went and wrote him up at the office, a step above detention. Then, my mentor took him out of class and gave him a good scolding over it. She said he had really hurt her feelings, that was a very rude thing to say, and when I got back he was going to apologize to me. His reaction? A close mouthed smile, looking away. Then, they told me they didn't want me back after that day. I was not building positive relationships with the kids.
This is why the world is so screwed up. It took me 9 weeks to build up relationships with others there, have worked like a slave at my mentor's side, and am not being paid for it. What is this about? Some repeat offenders came down to the office and complained about my being mean and nasty. But did they ever tell about the times that I build positive, albeit fake, hippie nonsense ones? The times I took the repeat offender aside and said he had a lot of potential as a great leader and he could use that for good things, but he had to put that energy into better things than his goofy behaviors? No, not exactly. SO I'm going to leave them high and dry, past the middle point, in the middle of my unit plan, and without documentation. I guess some won't care, but since my mentor and I have been rocks against the storm, that was not recognized. One day, she brought popcorn in for the kids, despite their general crazy, saying she didn't know why she did this if they were going to be so nasty. What a horror story it's all been, and will continue to be. Yet, I slug through the bad and won't complain any more than I have about it.
I had a headache when I left, on the left front lobe of my brain, the one that is underdeveloped in kids of this age. Then I took in some self medication and spent most of this day hungover from it. This is not on me, nor my university, it's on them. Life will go on, like it always does, and I will survive the storm. Perhaps they will put me somewhere else where it will be even worse. The odd duck is out for another count. Life beats you down because it just does. Fear? Loathing? Go ahead, stab me again in the back. You can torture my body, break my bones, even kill me. Then you will have my dead body, but not obedience. From me or the repeat offenders. Instead they can deal with them. But I will write my mentor a nice note telling her that there are few if any trustworthy people in life, she can take comfort in the fact that she is one of them. At least, I found her to be.
This is why the world is so screwed up. It took me 9 weeks to build up relationships with others there, have worked like a slave at my mentor's side, and am not being paid for it. What is this about? Some repeat offenders came down to the office and complained about my being mean and nasty. But did they ever tell about the times that I build positive, albeit fake, hippie nonsense ones? The times I took the repeat offender aside and said he had a lot of potential as a great leader and he could use that for good things, but he had to put that energy into better things than his goofy behaviors? No, not exactly. SO I'm going to leave them high and dry, past the middle point, in the middle of my unit plan, and without documentation. I guess some won't care, but since my mentor and I have been rocks against the storm, that was not recognized. One day, she brought popcorn in for the kids, despite their general crazy, saying she didn't know why she did this if they were going to be so nasty. What a horror story it's all been, and will continue to be. Yet, I slug through the bad and won't complain any more than I have about it.
I had a headache when I left, on the left front lobe of my brain, the one that is underdeveloped in kids of this age. Then I took in some self medication and spent most of this day hungover from it. This is not on me, nor my university, it's on them. Life will go on, like it always does, and I will survive the storm. Perhaps they will put me somewhere else where it will be even worse. The odd duck is out for another count. Life beats you down because it just does. Fear? Loathing? Go ahead, stab me again in the back. You can torture my body, break my bones, even kill me. Then you will have my dead body, but not obedience. From me or the repeat offenders. Instead they can deal with them. But I will write my mentor a nice note telling her that there are few if any trustworthy people in life, she can take comfort in the fact that she is one of them. At least, I found her to be.
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