A new outlook : explination and justifications
As many of you who I am personally acquainted with on any level, I have spent the last few years once again in academia. After the last insult in the old career, I have decided to make a drastic change, acquire a new degree and certification, and begin a new career in the education world. That is, I am becoming a teacher. What kind will remain to be seen, as I will not get into that now. However, from this moment forward, there are going to be some major changes with Facebook as well as a few outlooks on life. One may also read this as a How To guide as to having more success in the world. I thank my dear friend M for lending me a book that I now consider The Bible. This book is Office Politics : The Woman's Guide to Beat the System and Gain Financial Success by R. Don Steel. I did not believe it once, but the older I get the more I see this rings true. I would also like to thank Larry King, author of How to Talk to Anyone, Anywhere : The Secrets of Good Communication. Of these truths I find self evident, thank you to all three of you...
1) Anonymity - From this moment on, I will check and double check my Facebook settings so every who is already my friend will only see my posts and photos and whatnot. There will be a profile photo of me displayed, but it will not be of me. Some have also asked why it is that I do not go by my real name and what the moniker that I sport means. Answer 1: The moniker is an anagram for my real name. I put it in an anagram generator and it came up with several options. I choose the one I did because I liked the sound of it. Plus, in this part of the world one will not come across many men named "Thor", but it gives me double protection thinking that I might be a man rather than a woman. Answer 2: Privacy is of utmost importance to me, and I will not have anyone violate it. More on that in a bit.
2) Professional courtesy - Future employers will be checking up on me, which will include activity on Facebook. They can do all they want in order to search for me, I will not allow them to get into my business. In my educational and office experiences thus far, as well as having it confirmed with fellow sources, working in an office or any job is, unfortunately, like being in high school. You'd think we'd outgrown it, but unfortunately we don't. I'm keeping others out.
3) Personal Safety - I determined this from working in several offices over the years, some adjustments must be made for being in the educational world, but there are several things I have learned about people. Just because you are working in a school system does not mean you can relax and live by different rules than that of the corporate world, one must keep that in mind at all times. All jobs are a form of corporation, even if you are self employed.
4) Capital - I quote Steel's book directly when I say that it is all about money. "The System" is the only one that can pay a person for a job, whether they are the CEO of a major corporation making a six figure salary or a guy flipping burgers for minimum wage. The world, unfortunately, does not work the way that we have been taught that it has by parents, teachers, and politicians. Men are in command for a variety of reasons. I have understood what it means to be a woman in the corporate world, as well as accept the reality of being a woman in the corporate world. This is not, however some kind of political statement or a declaration that "all men are pigs" or the like. This is more of a manifesto for how one can either leave the corporate world and follow your dreams, stay in the corporate world and make a six figure salary, or stay in the corporate world, make a healthy salary doing something you enjoy while easily defeating those who are trying to sabotage you.
5) Women who came before me - Some will think that I am bashing other women when I say some of the things that I am saying, or perhaps they will say I am a radical conservative who is bashing the so called "liberal media", clinging to outdated or prejudiced beliefs. Having survived eight years of single sex education (a girls' high school and college), as well as working in offices mostly populated by women, I have come to a conclusion that I would rather not have. And that is that most women are two faced and jealous. See that movie Mean Girls to see it in action. I have witnessed women get into physical and verbal fights, scream at each other, back stab, start rumors and lies about others, deliberately destroy others. They knew exactly what they were doing, it was not the action of a misguided or overly emotional or even a sick person. What they do is lash out at others because they are unhappy with themselves and want to make someone else feel just as bad. I remember my first month at my second job when a woman returned from a medical leave. The tension level went from 0 to 100 upon her return. A staff meeting was called (including me) and the room exploded in anger with this woman conducting it like an orchestra. Later that day, I was sitting in the lunch room reading when this same woman approached me and asked what I thought of the meeting that day. I said I would rather not talk about it, thank you. She asked if I wanted to know what all the others in the same department say about me. To say that was hurtful was an understatement. But I maintained my dignity and said "No thank you." Needless to say I ended up quitting that job because they allowed others to do and say whatever they wanted while I was not allowed to.
Advice : Be nice, but not too nice to coworkers. Do not share things with others, keep it light and superficial. Instead of responding, extend an invitation for others to talk about themselves and ask questions about it. Then the person will leave the conversation satisfied because they will have done what they enjoy the most, which is to talk about themselves. If you have a really obnoxious situation, you must try to make amends somehow because you have to, after all, work with this person like it or not. I recall at my observation time (the first time around) I had the rather disorganized teacher I was shadowing tell me at some point "I don't know anything about you! I don't even know where you live!" I was taken aback by this, it was none of her business.
How to respond to this is is tricky. One must remember that coworkers are lonely, frightened and neurotic. If you don't understand this, you will become one of them. Remember that most of them come to work not because they enjoy their jobs, or even to earn a living, but to escape the horror story of what is or isn't going on in their horrible home lives. Being unhappy becomes their natural state. Once I asked someone what they wanted to be when they grew up when they were little kids, as I hoped that I would become like Superman - discover some hidden power or wonderful secret that only I possessed that would make me a superhero. She said "I figured whatever would happen to me would happen to me." End of story - misery. If one actually has the audacity to pat you on the head like that, simply say with a hard stare "That offends me. Don't do / say it again." They will think that you're just as hyper sensitive or uptight as they are. Because the last thing anyone will want to do anymore is offend others.
As time goes on, I will document further experiences and observations. Hence I will not go forth and keep a certain sense of mystery about myself. Because, all we can do anymore is stay in the shadows. More will be said on hard work and dedication and realizing your dreams later on.
1) Anonymity - From this moment on, I will check and double check my Facebook settings so every who is already my friend will only see my posts and photos and whatnot. There will be a profile photo of me displayed, but it will not be of me. Some have also asked why it is that I do not go by my real name and what the moniker that I sport means. Answer 1: The moniker is an anagram for my real name. I put it in an anagram generator and it came up with several options. I choose the one I did because I liked the sound of it. Plus, in this part of the world one will not come across many men named "Thor", but it gives me double protection thinking that I might be a man rather than a woman. Answer 2: Privacy is of utmost importance to me, and I will not have anyone violate it. More on that in a bit.
2) Professional courtesy - Future employers will be checking up on me, which will include activity on Facebook. They can do all they want in order to search for me, I will not allow them to get into my business. In my educational and office experiences thus far, as well as having it confirmed with fellow sources, working in an office or any job is, unfortunately, like being in high school. You'd think we'd outgrown it, but unfortunately we don't. I'm keeping others out.
3) Personal Safety - I determined this from working in several offices over the years, some adjustments must be made for being in the educational world, but there are several things I have learned about people. Just because you are working in a school system does not mean you can relax and live by different rules than that of the corporate world, one must keep that in mind at all times. All jobs are a form of corporation, even if you are self employed.
4) Capital - I quote Steel's book directly when I say that it is all about money. "The System" is the only one that can pay a person for a job, whether they are the CEO of a major corporation making a six figure salary or a guy flipping burgers for minimum wage. The world, unfortunately, does not work the way that we have been taught that it has by parents, teachers, and politicians. Men are in command for a variety of reasons. I have understood what it means to be a woman in the corporate world, as well as accept the reality of being a woman in the corporate world. This is not, however some kind of political statement or a declaration that "all men are pigs" or the like. This is more of a manifesto for how one can either leave the corporate world and follow your dreams, stay in the corporate world and make a six figure salary, or stay in the corporate world, make a healthy salary doing something you enjoy while easily defeating those who are trying to sabotage you.
5) Women who came before me - Some will think that I am bashing other women when I say some of the things that I am saying, or perhaps they will say I am a radical conservative who is bashing the so called "liberal media", clinging to outdated or prejudiced beliefs. Having survived eight years of single sex education (a girls' high school and college), as well as working in offices mostly populated by women, I have come to a conclusion that I would rather not have. And that is that most women are two faced and jealous. See that movie Mean Girls to see it in action. I have witnessed women get into physical and verbal fights, scream at each other, back stab, start rumors and lies about others, deliberately destroy others. They knew exactly what they were doing, it was not the action of a misguided or overly emotional or even a sick person. What they do is lash out at others because they are unhappy with themselves and want to make someone else feel just as bad. I remember my first month at my second job when a woman returned from a medical leave. The tension level went from 0 to 100 upon her return. A staff meeting was called (including me) and the room exploded in anger with this woman conducting it like an orchestra. Later that day, I was sitting in the lunch room reading when this same woman approached me and asked what I thought of the meeting that day. I said I would rather not talk about it, thank you. She asked if I wanted to know what all the others in the same department say about me. To say that was hurtful was an understatement. But I maintained my dignity and said "No thank you." Needless to say I ended up quitting that job because they allowed others to do and say whatever they wanted while I was not allowed to.
Advice : Be nice, but not too nice to coworkers. Do not share things with others, keep it light and superficial. Instead of responding, extend an invitation for others to talk about themselves and ask questions about it. Then the person will leave the conversation satisfied because they will have done what they enjoy the most, which is to talk about themselves. If you have a really obnoxious situation, you must try to make amends somehow because you have to, after all, work with this person like it or not. I recall at my observation time (the first time around) I had the rather disorganized teacher I was shadowing tell me at some point "I don't know anything about you! I don't even know where you live!" I was taken aback by this, it was none of her business.
How to respond to this is is tricky. One must remember that coworkers are lonely, frightened and neurotic. If you don't understand this, you will become one of them. Remember that most of them come to work not because they enjoy their jobs, or even to earn a living, but to escape the horror story of what is or isn't going on in their horrible home lives. Being unhappy becomes their natural state. Once I asked someone what they wanted to be when they grew up when they were little kids, as I hoped that I would become like Superman - discover some hidden power or wonderful secret that only I possessed that would make me a superhero. She said "I figured whatever would happen to me would happen to me." End of story - misery. If one actually has the audacity to pat you on the head like that, simply say with a hard stare "That offends me. Don't do / say it again." They will think that you're just as hyper sensitive or uptight as they are. Because the last thing anyone will want to do anymore is offend others.
As time goes on, I will document further experiences and observations. Hence I will not go forth and keep a certain sense of mystery about myself. Because, all we can do anymore is stay in the shadows. More will be said on hard work and dedication and realizing your dreams later on.
Comments
Post a Comment