2ndclepunkbuddha

During the past few days I began working on a rather hilarious project, quite by accident.  I went to my parents' house to look in the cedar closet for some old clothes to give to a friend who gets a big kick out of wearing clothes with the same name as my high school.  (Want to know?  Look on my friend list and connect the dots with my information and you'll see.)  I came across my old photo album that I kept from roughly 4th grade on.  It was the mid 80s so it was the peak of big hair (either just the hairspray and hot rollers until we moved onto crimping), and we all had hideous crap haircuts.  Not to mention the fashion choices we beyond belief.  I had a wonderful time tagging people and letting them see how young and cute we all were before life really REALLY started to suck.  However, as my twentieth is coming up for high school soon, and I have also been to my fair share of reunions in the past, it got me to thinking about how and why peopl...

Sometimes I think I feel things more deeply than others do. That is a bit of contradictory statement, as some have told me they can find me cold, unfeeling and rather stiff. But yet, once one gets to know me they find that I am not like that. Sometimes you hurt inside but since no one likes being around someone who is angry, depressed, or takes a certain joy out of lashing out or hurting others. I feel, I move in closer, touching and tasting things. And we get burned while doing so. Such is the state of things. 1) Thinking things through - Not obsessively but as throughly as possible and within reason. It was for the best that things ended when they did rather than later on, you probably would have down the road if not at that moment. There may not have been a good reason, but it was a reason nonetheless. One discordant person is enough. 2) No not rethink things through - It is easy to romanticize things when you think about only the good things, especially when it was/is not...

This will be a blog about my period once again, I hope not to gross anyone out. But if you are said individual who is grossed out by said things, I strongly suggest to stop reading now and find something else to do. It has now been about six months and a variety of things have been tried. It all began last November, when all of a sudden my period began when it had just ended about a week before. I had never seen anything like this - it was coming out in clots. The biggest one I saw was about the size of a tea cup saucer that literally went "SPLAT" on the shower floor. I actually bent down and picked it up, it was a solid, like a piece of liver. "What IS this?!" I thought to myself. This was something, but what? I actually feared I was having a miscarriage, but tests showed otherwise. Was it a thyroid condition? The Nuvaring ? Too much or too little hormones? Everything was tried. A camera was inserted, they found a fibroid in me. The first freaky thing ...

I have decided to write on another curious family phenomenon. I would like to say that my family are a bunch of eccentric characters who are all from some unique background or have a plethora of stories in which to share, but this is not always the case. On Dad's side we have a bunch of weirdos, that's for sure. Plagued by mental illnesses, a need for power and control, and some questionable closeted homosexuality, it lead for a rather damaged childhood on his part. I have chosen not to acknowledge them, mostly stemming from his mother's wrath, abuse and telltale lesbian bitterness. On Mom's, we have a different set of issues. Mom's parents were children during the Great Depression Era. Hence they became hoarders, never put money into any bank because they were not trusted, and became rather paranoid. Mom's mother was the youngest of seven or eight children, and one of only two who reproduced. The rest equated childhood with having nothing and wearing...

For some reason, I have made it a tradition to write a blog on Easter Sunday. I'm not sure why, except that it's a holiday. It's not as notable as Christmas, nor does it have any special significance for me. Perhaps it's because on said day I seem to kind of step away from who I am. I mean that in the fact that I make a point to do some family time and, make my biannual appearance in church (unless a wedding or funeral should prompt another attendance). We seem to have the same few things happen every year when I appear at my family's doorstep for said attendance. Mom said don't wear jeans because it's a nicer occasion that that. I said " ok " rather reluctantly. So I showed up wearing my black Vans with a pattern that could pass for the Hunger Games bird on them, my black pants which pass for skinny jeans, a turtleneck and sweater and my winter coat. Mom found fault with it of course, saying that I should not wear my winter coat. I respo...

Once in a while we get the urge to clean out closets or drawers or the fridge, we just collect junk and forget to pitch it out. Dairy products go bad, we gained weight and the clothes don't fit anymore, or we don't know why we bought this weird thing to begin with. And sometimes things are in plain sight, for some reason we don't want to believe that something is true despite all the evidence that points to the truth or otherwise. I found recently some nonsense green things that Mom tried to get me to wear on St. Patrick's Day years ago, in response I stuffed them in a box or a remote corner of the closet. Today I found them again, decided to give them a wash because it's been rotting in the closet (clean, doing nothing and not offending anyone), so I pitched them in the laundry basket for a near future run through the washing machine. Started thinking about other long term projects to do, one being that the shower needed a good scrub because the brunette shamp...

Note : The title of this blog is not based on anything related to Yoda quotes from the Star Wars movies. I wish that it was in many ways, but unfortunately no. When asked approximately 20 or so years ago what our purposes in life were, the answer was "to learn". What exactly we were supposed to learn is different for all of us, but as we were in the middle of my junior or senior year of high school at the time, I would've said the typical subjects (math, history, science, art, etc.). Exactly what else I was not sure of, save for the awkward social skills one acquires during the high school experience (of which, of course, are variables). If you asked me what our purposes in life were approximately 10 years ago, I would have once again answered "to learn", but have put some footnotes on that. What we are to do is actually "unlearn or relearn what we have learned". Of this I have placed in the oh so important social interactions among humans. Thes...