Moving On Once Again

As we charge through life, we are often times confronted with things that throw us for a curve here and there. It could be sickness, loss of job, being unsure of what to do, making mistakes, and making bad choices, or something very serious. And then there is the ultimate question of love and how it affects us as well.

Once again I find myself at the threshold of sadness again. Still, as time goes on and we mature, I'd like to think that I have learned to handle such things better. And yet, I am a post skinny hipster who is sharing everything with people on the Internet. Ha ha ha ... That's how it is now. It was six months, was happy for the most part. They were a hard six months that were plagued with things lingering from the past (which I won't get into here or tell of because I AIN'T CRAZY), but I stood by him. Few women would do what I did, but ... When one is reasonable and sees things in black and white too much, it makes you weird. There were no tears, no bargaining, not even a good by kiss. It was just over. He said that every woman he has ever been with has dumped him because he has acted terribly or erratically, but he's not going to let that happen again. I decided that I wasn't going to pretend that I understood the logic, but if that's the way he felt then that's the way he felt. Then I said I was leaving, I got in the car and drove away.

Optimism is a hard thing to have in the world today, but it remains. We go forward without thinking what I could've done differently or I am flawed in some way. I will not submit to depression like I have in the past and blame myself. Not one man out there would think that it was something they did wrong, but that if the woman were to leave them the other party was a loser. I won't go that far, I'm not going to accuse him of something. We all have our problems. And now I don't have to share my space and cook Sunday breakfast for anyone but myself anymore. With a heavy heart, moving on.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Distinguished Alumnae Award and the Sounds of Silence

    I got a notice in the mail (either snail mail or email, I forget which now) from my high school recently.  I usually give all materials, written or electronic, a quick glance here and there.  Besides the items that are obviously junk mail or spam, I usually pitch them out.  When I get one from my high school, I usually take it upstairs to my apartment and then give it a longer looksee.  Typically these small books are about 20 pages long, filled with updates of the goings on of those currently attending my high school.  I follow a few of them on Facebook and Instagram, maybe a few other miscellaneous social networks whose fire died down a few years ago.  Over dinner I might give a few things a longer read if they peak my interest.  This one particular one was of note because a gal who I went to high school with was being awarded the Distinguished Alumnae Award.  She was in my class as a matter ...
Read more

For Munroe

Hard to believe, but a third friend has died this year.  It's been rough having to see those who we love die around you, but this was truly unexpected.  Just last Saturday night, I was in Munroe's presence at the first Halloween party of the season and he was perfectly fine.  Bedecked in hip hop clothes, a sideways baseball cap and plastic, fake gold jewelry, he looked hilariously age inappropriate as a man in his early sixties.  We talked about nothing, or we talked about everything, or just how good the cupcakes tasted and he showed me he had brought a jug of vodka as it was a BYOB party.  And then, only two days later, he died of a heart attack (although not confirmed as the autopsy is not back yet as of this writing). Munroe was part of the Tremont scene, a staple at the main bar, Edison's (a.k.a. The Office).  He was an artist with a definite sing song quality about his voice, and he managed to be artistic without being pretentious about it.  He...
Read more

Naked part 3

Slowly but surely the movie is coming to fruition after a variety of set backs.  Everyone involved is working hard as their schedules and finances permit.  I knew that the director would one day call out of the blue and say "today's the day" and I would be off to the studio.  Fortunately I am in a position where my schedule will be fairly flexible and free for the next few weeks until I go back to work, so this is not a problem.  And since I am free like the bird, I will help in the causes around me and not make excuses for not doing said things.  I got notice from the director that the big day was coming to include me all of a sudden tomorrow.  However, I did not check my email until about 2 in the morning.  Oh no, tomorrow?!  Timing and scheduling was not a problem, I was free and able to be with them as long as possible with whatever needed to be done and I was willing.  It just so happened I had a problem with my presentation. When I ar...
Read more