2011 : A Look Back
As the year draws to a close it is once again time to look back and wax poetic. Like all years, 2011 was full of highs and lows. In general, it was a good year, but one full of its own turmoil. Every year seems to have a theme to it. 2010 was about relationships, as many friendships, romantic attachments, business arrangements and marriages came to an end. It was a painful year for some on the sidelines as well as a nightmare for those on the inside. But, since we are survivors by nature, we pulled through as we have always had. In 2011 aftershocks of these fallouts continued through to this year, but, we healed from it.
Without comment about the state of the economy or any political messages, we are still looking for a turnaround. We want change, we're willing to work, but someone or something isn't letting us as it seems. And, here we are in debt, not connected, no happy or even comfortable. Dare I say that I have become more conservative as a result of these things. My self of 20 years ago would be shocked to see who I am now. Angry, hardened, rather bitter at the powers that be. I see my mission in life, however, much more clearly now, which is not just to educate others but combat the hippie nonsense and inflict more of a sense of discipline. Funny, I live in the suburbs but I very much am living a more aggressive city life than was envisioned by my parental units. Still sticking to their Victorian values, it would be best not to tell them about the 7th graders with full gangsta tattoos, bullet holes in their chests, and ankle bracelets on their legs, but I had to. Maybe it was because someone pissed me off when their advice was "as long as they want to be there and have fun it's all good."
I'm 37 now. Who knew? I remember when I was a kid watching episodes of Designing Women. All wacky antics of a sitcom aside and the camp that appeals to my demographic (Desperate Housewives, Sex In The City, etc.), when I was a kid, I thought I would be one of those women. Sophisticated, career established, married/divorced, a mother even. But, I'm not. I'm living like a college student, still finding myself, scraping out a living and chasing bands (but only good ones). I am in many ways living a life others only dream about. It can be a rather lonely life at times, but it was one that many choices resulted in, and it made me tougher than I thought possible.
So this year's theme it seems was about inner conflict. I was confronted with many situations pertaining to the directions in which I am going, as well as many unfortunate things that happened to friends. Am I doing the right thing? What will happen if I go this way? I know who I am, but who are the others around me? I cannot say where most of it has come from nor do I know where it's going. Even in this age of sharing everything and anything with the world on the Internet, I will not say what those things are. Because it's about things you can't bring yourself to say out loud. Things you can't even whisper to yourself. They eat at you. But, you keep it all inside because people judge you just as you have yourself. So you keep it all inside, but it's not easy.
Onto 2012, Year of the Dragon. May it be as heavy of this year but not as destructive as the last dragon year, 12 years ago.
Without comment about the state of the economy or any political messages, we are still looking for a turnaround. We want change, we're willing to work, but someone or something isn't letting us as it seems. And, here we are in debt, not connected, no happy or even comfortable. Dare I say that I have become more conservative as a result of these things. My self of 20 years ago would be shocked to see who I am now. Angry, hardened, rather bitter at the powers that be. I see my mission in life, however, much more clearly now, which is not just to educate others but combat the hippie nonsense and inflict more of a sense of discipline. Funny, I live in the suburbs but I very much am living a more aggressive city life than was envisioned by my parental units. Still sticking to their Victorian values, it would be best not to tell them about the 7th graders with full gangsta tattoos, bullet holes in their chests, and ankle bracelets on their legs, but I had to. Maybe it was because someone pissed me off when their advice was "as long as they want to be there and have fun it's all good."
I'm 37 now. Who knew? I remember when I was a kid watching episodes of Designing Women. All wacky antics of a sitcom aside and the camp that appeals to my demographic (Desperate Housewives, Sex In The City, etc.), when I was a kid, I thought I would be one of those women. Sophisticated, career established, married/divorced, a mother even. But, I'm not. I'm living like a college student, still finding myself, scraping out a living and chasing bands (but only good ones). I am in many ways living a life others only dream about. It can be a rather lonely life at times, but it was one that many choices resulted in, and it made me tougher than I thought possible.
So this year's theme it seems was about inner conflict. I was confronted with many situations pertaining to the directions in which I am going, as well as many unfortunate things that happened to friends. Am I doing the right thing? What will happen if I go this way? I know who I am, but who are the others around me? I cannot say where most of it has come from nor do I know where it's going. Even in this age of sharing everything and anything with the world on the Internet, I will not say what those things are. Because it's about things you can't bring yourself to say out loud. Things you can't even whisper to yourself. They eat at you. But, you keep it all inside because people judge you just as you have yourself. So you keep it all inside, but it's not easy.
Onto 2012, Year of the Dragon. May it be as heavy of this year but not as destructive as the last dragon year, 12 years ago.
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