Montage of Heck
This documentary has been much anticipated in the last few months. Montage of Heck is a documentary about the life of Kurt Cobain, front man of Nirvana, leader of the Grunge Era of the 90s, who had hoped to sell and gain as much as Sonic Youth and ended up being the last great rock band to close out the twentieth century. Last year was the twentieth anniversary since his death (see a previous blog on reflections for this), and it was with a rather heavy heart that I watched this documentary. I was one of those Nirvana fans, as many know. I think the timing was right, I was the right age who came into my own right when they rose to fame and the climate shifted over into the supernova of hipsters that was the beginning of the 90s. Of course, I had much to learn, much taste to acquire and more experiences in life to have, but I didn't know it at the time. But I digress... Here is my reaction to the film because I wanted to state my reaction.
We start off with some excellent animation of Kurt's youth coupled with some old family home movies of Kurt as a toddler enjoying his third birthday party, some happy thoughts and innocent things that only little kids seem to have. Trouble soon emerged, as anyone may know who knows about his life story, when his parents divorced. He would be shuttled back and forth between his mom and dad's homes, experience friction with his step siblings and step parents, eventually turning into a stoner come junior high school. Then he dropped out of high school, floated around his hometown of Aberdeen, Washington without much purpose, then started a band. After going through a few lineup changes and names, they settled on Nirvana. His local stardom began. Someone took some old tape recorded phone conversations and personal journal entries and turned them into some animated reenactments of his disenchanted youth (smoking pot under the bridge with his stoner buddies, strolling on the streets of his hometown, seeing the dreary pine trees at night in the middle of many a rainstorm, etc.), and most importantly, him sitting in his living room composing the roots of what would become Nirvana songs. It all seemed to happen rather quickly for them after they spent years in the underground, and when it did, fame hit like a giant, hydra headed monster.
I found myself singing along to all the songs as I heard them, be they rough cuts on a demo tape, performed live at the Reading Festival in the UK, aggressively played at a crowded rock club with the crowd moshing away, or from their last album recorded gig of MTV Unplugged. I just know the lyrics of the songs, and I sang along thinking that I was back in that time with them. What was the most touching, however, was seeing Kurt and Courtney together in the beginnings of their relationship. That was unexpected, seeing them in love and not high all the time. And then Frances arrived. She was a fix-it baby for them. Their relationship was a toxic one, no question. They wanted to fix things about themselves, about each other, and their marriage / relationship by having her. Of course, that did not work, as any fix-it baby does not work for any marriage / relationship. Kurt is clearly high in a few scenes, even one while he is holding Frances while Courtney and someone else is attempting to give her a haircut. He did not meet the same sad end that Elvis Presley did, but he is clearly unsure of himself, a target for the asshole high school set who always finds something terrible to do and say about one's appearance, value system or mannerisms that only they can that can scar one for life, and unknowing how to deal with the fame that was suddenly thrust upon him.
It was also a snapshot of the world back then. There were a few home movies taken during that time of him and Courtney, him and Courtney and Frances around the house in the days of camcorders and cameras that had actual film in them rather than digital cards in our phones to automatically share with the world. It was, like I said, The Grunge Years, when adult women were dressing like little girls in jumpers and mary jane shoes (long before it would come back in cosplay form) and the men were wearing more plaid than we thought possible. And we still had acne, talked on landline telephones, and had CDs that we hadn't put on our hard drives that were in every household.
It was a moving documentary, especially for me as a Nirvana fan and knowing that Frances is an adult now and she produced this piece. She is the Gen X Lisa Marie Presley now. A question everyone asks Lisa Marie in interviews is what she remembers about her father. Lisa remembers him as she was 9 or 10 when Elvis died, but Frances wasn't even 20 months old when Kurt died. And she says today that she doesn't remember him at all. When she meets and shakes hands with a stranger, she thinks "I know more about you right at this moment than I know about Kurt." The world knows him, but his own child doesn't. He was like Santa Claus, a mystical figure that brought hope and joy to millions but no one has ever met or seen. She has come across some of his things from his mom's house in Aberdeen, auctions sold to collectors willing to pay big bucks for his stuff, and strangers who come up to her to shake her hand to tell her "your dad was so cool." There is / was much sadness especially in the eyes of Krist Novoselic who said that he could see so much in his art today, if only he had known. So many things we should have known about him, and then he died. It's hard to believe that it's been so long since he's been gone, and he should be here with us today. He'd be happy to know that he is still loved.
I found myself getting kind of misty eyed in a few scenes, like when he sang "Where did you sleep last night" by Lead Belly in the MTV Unplugged finale. And oddly enough, when I recalled a story that I heard about him and Weird Al Yankovich. Weird Al was trying to get a hold of Kurt to ask his permission to do a parody of "Smells Like Teen Spirit", and when they were to appear on Saturday Night Live, he asked Victoria Jackson if she would grab him in the hallway. She did and put him on her cell phone with Weird Al, who asked if he could do a parody. Kurt said "Oh sure! Oh wait, it's not about food, is it?" He said no, it would be about how no one can understand the lyrics to the songs. He said ok. When it aired on MTV, they all sat around laughing hysterically. Dave Grohl said "Wow, we really made it, didn't we?" Yeah, they did. Because Nirvana was our Beatles. And it didn't happen again.
We start off with some excellent animation of Kurt's youth coupled with some old family home movies of Kurt as a toddler enjoying his third birthday party, some happy thoughts and innocent things that only little kids seem to have. Trouble soon emerged, as anyone may know who knows about his life story, when his parents divorced. He would be shuttled back and forth between his mom and dad's homes, experience friction with his step siblings and step parents, eventually turning into a stoner come junior high school. Then he dropped out of high school, floated around his hometown of Aberdeen, Washington without much purpose, then started a band. After going through a few lineup changes and names, they settled on Nirvana. His local stardom began. Someone took some old tape recorded phone conversations and personal journal entries and turned them into some animated reenactments of his disenchanted youth (smoking pot under the bridge with his stoner buddies, strolling on the streets of his hometown, seeing the dreary pine trees at night in the middle of many a rainstorm, etc.), and most importantly, him sitting in his living room composing the roots of what would become Nirvana songs. It all seemed to happen rather quickly for them after they spent years in the underground, and when it did, fame hit like a giant, hydra headed monster.
I found myself singing along to all the songs as I heard them, be they rough cuts on a demo tape, performed live at the Reading Festival in the UK, aggressively played at a crowded rock club with the crowd moshing away, or from their last album recorded gig of MTV Unplugged. I just know the lyrics of the songs, and I sang along thinking that I was back in that time with them. What was the most touching, however, was seeing Kurt and Courtney together in the beginnings of their relationship. That was unexpected, seeing them in love and not high all the time. And then Frances arrived. She was a fix-it baby for them. Their relationship was a toxic one, no question. They wanted to fix things about themselves, about each other, and their marriage / relationship by having her. Of course, that did not work, as any fix-it baby does not work for any marriage / relationship. Kurt is clearly high in a few scenes, even one while he is holding Frances while Courtney and someone else is attempting to give her a haircut. He did not meet the same sad end that Elvis Presley did, but he is clearly unsure of himself, a target for the asshole high school set who always finds something terrible to do and say about one's appearance, value system or mannerisms that only they can that can scar one for life, and unknowing how to deal with the fame that was suddenly thrust upon him.
It was also a snapshot of the world back then. There were a few home movies taken during that time of him and Courtney, him and Courtney and Frances around the house in the days of camcorders and cameras that had actual film in them rather than digital cards in our phones to automatically share with the world. It was, like I said, The Grunge Years, when adult women were dressing like little girls in jumpers and mary jane shoes (long before it would come back in cosplay form) and the men were wearing more plaid than we thought possible. And we still had acne, talked on landline telephones, and had CDs that we hadn't put on our hard drives that were in every household.
It was a moving documentary, especially for me as a Nirvana fan and knowing that Frances is an adult now and she produced this piece. She is the Gen X Lisa Marie Presley now. A question everyone asks Lisa Marie in interviews is what she remembers about her father. Lisa remembers him as she was 9 or 10 when Elvis died, but Frances wasn't even 20 months old when Kurt died. And she says today that she doesn't remember him at all. When she meets and shakes hands with a stranger, she thinks "I know more about you right at this moment than I know about Kurt." The world knows him, but his own child doesn't. He was like Santa Claus, a mystical figure that brought hope and joy to millions but no one has ever met or seen. She has come across some of his things from his mom's house in Aberdeen, auctions sold to collectors willing to pay big bucks for his stuff, and strangers who come up to her to shake her hand to tell her "your dad was so cool." There is / was much sadness especially in the eyes of Krist Novoselic who said that he could see so much in his art today, if only he had known. So many things we should have known about him, and then he died. It's hard to believe that it's been so long since he's been gone, and he should be here with us today. He'd be happy to know that he is still loved.
I found myself getting kind of misty eyed in a few scenes, like when he sang "Where did you sleep last night" by Lead Belly in the MTV Unplugged finale. And oddly enough, when I recalled a story that I heard about him and Weird Al Yankovich. Weird Al was trying to get a hold of Kurt to ask his permission to do a parody of "Smells Like Teen Spirit", and when they were to appear on Saturday Night Live, he asked Victoria Jackson if she would grab him in the hallway. She did and put him on her cell phone with Weird Al, who asked if he could do a parody. Kurt said "Oh sure! Oh wait, it's not about food, is it?" He said no, it would be about how no one can understand the lyrics to the songs. He said ok. When it aired on MTV, they all sat around laughing hysterically. Dave Grohl said "Wow, we really made it, didn't we?" Yeah, they did. Because Nirvana was our Beatles. And it didn't happen again.
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